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Lifeguard: The pool rules are: no diving, no splashing, no horseplay, no running...
Lifeguard: No food, no drink, no flotation devices, no yelling, no loud noises, no dunking and no pushing.
Michael: We could have just stayed home to take our bath.
The Following are Prohibited (including but not limited to);•Diving, Jumping, and Walking on Water•Roughhousing, Horse Play, Wrestling, Groping, Water Boarding, Wedgies, Swirlies and Dwarf Tossing (Kids Either)•Profanity, Swearing, Political Rhetoric, and Foul language •Dodgeball, Football, Handball, Basketball, Baseball, and Cajones•Running, Skipping, Levitating, Skateboarding, and Water Skiing•Sarcasm, Aggravation, and Puns •Food, Snacks, Condiments, and Genetically Engineered Veggies •Guns, Knives, Swords, Cannon, Catapults, Arbalests, and SporksoSquirt Guns, Super soakers permitted when supervised by a child •Flowers, Trees, Potted Plants, and ShrubberiesoUnless approved by the Knights who say “Ni”•Ghouls, Fools, Golems, and Shrewish Females•Horses, Goats, and Elephants (Any Size)oSmall housebroken cetaceans are permitted •Music (If your mother sings it, it’ OK… maybe)oWhite Guys RappingoElevator Music•Smoking (Unless proper notices are posted)oTobacco, Weed, Banana PeeloSmokin’ Hot Women Excepted (OK… For the Ladies, Smokin’ Hot Guys Too)•Lawyers are permitted only in the deep end with cement overshoes•Submerged lawyers must be removed within 12 hrs.
Comic Minister: Most of my life, I have worn glasses in the pool, lake, ocean, or anywhere else I needed to see (showers are an exception since I had rather not look). Now that I can legally drive without them, I haven’t had a chance to go swimming, and have no idea which I will choose.
@ x_Tech What do you mean no levitating and no arbalests? Or swords & catapults? How am I to fight the war on zombies without the weapons?grumble, grumble fine. Fine! But I get to use the magic Pixiee dust!
el8 over 12 years ago
and, as always: we don’t swim in your toilet, please don’t pee in our pool
Gator007 over 12 years ago
There goes all the fun.
x_Tech over 12 years ago
The Following are Prohibited (including but not limited to);•Diving, Jumping, and Walking on Water•Roughhousing, Horse Play, Wrestling, Groping, Water Boarding, Wedgies, Swirlies and Dwarf Tossing (Kids Either)•Profanity, Swearing, Political Rhetoric, and Foul language •Dodgeball, Football, Handball, Basketball, Baseball, and Cajones•Running, Skipping, Levitating, Skateboarding, and Water Skiing•Sarcasm, Aggravation, and Puns •Food, Snacks, Condiments, and Genetically Engineered Veggies •Guns, Knives, Swords, Cannon, Catapults, Arbalests, and SporksoSquirt Guns, Super soakers permitted when supervised by a child •Flowers, Trees, Potted Plants, and ShrubberiesoUnless approved by the Knights who say “Ni”•Ghouls, Fools, Golems, and Shrewish Females•Horses, Goats, and Elephants (Any Size)oSmall housebroken cetaceans are permitted •Music (If your mother sings it, it’ OK… maybe)oWhite Guys RappingoElevator Music•Smoking (Unless proper notices are posted)oTobacco, Weed, Banana PeeloSmokin’ Hot Women Excepted (OK… For the Ladies, Smokin’ Hot Guys Too)•Lawyers are permitted only in the deep end with cement overshoes•Submerged lawyers must be removed within 12 hrs.
cabalonrye over 12 years ago
X Tech – what about ROUS?
LiviaBay over 12 years ago
@X Tech – what about Pink Elephants & Ghosts?
flintcrow over 12 years ago
@cabalonrye I don’t think they’ll be a problem.
Kathy M T M Premium Member over 12 years ago
ever heard of swimmin’?
Comic Minister Premium Member over 12 years ago
Gabby can you swim with those glasses on?
hippogriff over 12 years ago
Comic Minister: Most of my life, I have worn glasses in the pool, lake, ocean, or anywhere else I needed to see (showers are an exception since I had rather not look). Now that I can legally drive without them, I haven’t had a chance to go swimming, and have no idea which I will choose.
Hunter7 over 12 years ago
@ x_Tech What do you mean no levitating and no arbalests? Or swords & catapults? How am I to fight the war on zombies without the weapons?grumble, grumble fine. Fine! But I get to use the magic Pixiee dust!