Crabgrass by Tauhid Bondia for March 23, 2020

Give him another WAK.

The line between death and glory is narrow indeed.

Miles: [thinks] “And I turned my back on the cool kids for this. Now we’re all out of gum and I don’t get my turn.”

As worthless as a Guinness record is, maybe he could have his life saved more times in eight hours than anyone ever has.

What part of death-defying do you not get?

Some gratitude…

No good deed goes unpunished.

Next time use Chiclets.

Anyone want to comment on the likelihood of that during the time period?

I mean, yes, we’d be Guinness-record obsessed, but he’d have to have been thinking “Super Bubble” in order to pull that and in ’85 and ’86 I could have sworn everything was Bubble Yum and Hubba Bubba, with a side of also-soft, and not-in-notable-pieces, Big League Chew.

(Yes, I know Super Bubble existed, since it was there before the others. But a child in the 80s pretty much was unlikely to know hard bubble gum existed, because the soft ones would have already been controlling most of the market. I don’t remember even running into a piece of Super Bubble before 6th grade.)

So is 7 a limit or 9 a challenge?

58 pieces? The record is like 250.

Really? If you want to get in the book THAT badly, try juggling flaming chainsaw while tight-roping over a vat of boiling acid!