Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for January 29, 2012
Transcript:
Earl: Some clients just aren't worth it, Pop... you know how hard it is to spin a massacre? Duke: We're pros, son. Suck it up. Earl: To be honest, Pop, Assad is the client from hell! He's driving his regime into a ditch! The problem is that his old man had some success with mass murder. He once wiped out a whole town of 30,000 people! So Junior, of course, thinks that's how it's done. If it worked for Dad, it should work for him! I guess that's normal. I know when I get into a jam, I usually ask myself, "what would Pop do?" Duke: Yeah, we all have our role models... ever since he funded my orphanage back in the '90s, I ask myself, "what would Newt do?" Earl: Wow... that explains a lot. Duke: Well, it lightens the load. There are so many rules that don't apply to him.
BE THIS GUY almost 13 years ago
Both Duke and Newt THINK that the rules don’t apply to Gingrich.
thirdguy almost 13 years ago
That DOES explain a lot!!
rayannina almost 13 years ago
I’ve got it! Let’s send Newt to Syria!
cdhaley almost 13 years ago
“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”—Gospel of Mitt, 2 Cor. 9:7.
Buzza Wuzza almost 13 years ago
It’s really true. I try to be just like my mentor Milton Caniff.
cdhaley almost 13 years ago
or as a camel trying to pass through the eye of a newt.
“Double, double, toil and trouble;Fire burn, and cauldron bubble . . . . Eye of Newt and toe of frog,Wool of Mitt and tongue of dog . . . For a charm of powerful trouble,Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.”
Macbeth, 4.1 (lines probably written by Middleton)
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 13 years ago
New shibboleth: WWND.
artybee almost 13 years ago
A pinch of this,a pinch of that,a Gingrich button,and a french-fried bat!
Coyoty Premium Member almost 13 years ago
Newtonian anti-physics.
Sandfan almost 13 years ago
Even after all these years, I still find it hard to believe that someone named “Newt” is a successful national politician.
tigre1 almost 13 years ago
Rules are made by rulers for the ruled. Everybody clear now?
Ravenswing almost 13 years ago
Heh, yeah. I’m still waiting for Newt to explain why he thought that having an extramarital affair and lying about it made a man unfit to be President, at the same time when he was, well … having extramarital affairs and lying about them. Well, that, and when he changed his mind on the subject.
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 13 years ago
While driving to the Grey Bar Hotel,Newt and latest squeeze are also welcome to overnight at the No Tell Motel.
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 13 years ago
“Naw, let’s send him to the moon.After all, he’s the one who wants to colonize it!” Isn’t it illegal to contaminate the moon with a bacterium?
Simon_Jester almost 13 years ago
The end of the world must be upon us. Garry Trudeau and Ann Coulter AGREE on something!
Tea_Pea almost 13 years ago
Congratulations, Duke, on quitting smoking!
corzak almost 13 years ago
“$hrub . . . starting useless wars in the Mid-East for example…If it worked for Dad…”The Gulf War was not a “useless war”. Hussein was attempting to conquer the entire southern shore of the Persian Gulf, and grip the world’s oil supply by the throat.Bush Sr. assembled a true global coalition, obtained all international authorizations, and ousted Hussein from Kuwait in a brilliantly executed military strike.Once the stated strategic objective was achieved, and in the face of considerable pressure, Bush Sr. ended the war, leaving Hussein strong enough to fill a dangerous vacuum in the heart of the Middle East, but too weak to offensively threaten any neighbors.Overall, I thought the entire thing was brilliantly executed.But to this day, I can’t explain the remarkable stupidity of Bush Jr., Cheney and Rumsfeld in rejecting all of this.
tigre1 almost 13 years ago
Newt’s almost a currently perfect opportunist…
kaffekup almost 13 years ago
Sure, because a guy who brought us all back from the brink of Great Depression II and has true family values just doesn’t deserve to be President. We need a megalomaniac with his hand in corporate pockets and on his way to Mrs Gingrich IV. After all, he really cares about YOU!
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 13 years ago
“… why the quarrel between Newt and Mitt?” It’s over the GOP nom.
garyjbp almost 13 years ago
Is it just my ignorance, or is this the first time ever that Duke has been seen without a cigarette? I live in Colorado, and cigs have been banned in restaurants and bars for some time, but is this the case nationwide now?
Spaghettus1 almost 13 years ago
Sure, oil may have had something to do with it, but the fact that Saddam invaded another sovereign nation is more than a little relevant, and certainly gave us a sound justification for the actions we took.
The son, on the other hand, made us look like the paranoid bully of the world by launching an invasion over the objections of the UN to head off a threat that didn’t really exist. The relative size and military power of the two nations also made it comparable to a senior beating up a 3rd grader. No matter how badly the elementary kid was behaving, the senior still ends up looking like an ahole.
Add to that the fact that our invasion of Iraq has led directly to our current problems with Iran, and that makes it the biggest mistake committed by a US president in recent history.
cdhaley almost 13 years ago
You mean we can count on Newt to send the Seals to kill our enemies on the moon?
cdhaley almost 13 years ago
S(erial) P(olygamy) has become Newt’s latest backer.
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 13 years ago
“… the British … sliced off Kuwait from Iraq where it had been part of it for some time.”
Like about since the beginning of recorded history — 5,000 years ago.
Dtroutma almost 13 years ago
Simply put, compared to Newt, a barrel full of fish hooks is straight as an arrow.
Sportymonk almost 13 years ago
When Newt move the American Embassy from Tel Avi to Jerusalem, let sleet Newt stand the first watch outside the gates!!
38lowell almost 13 years ago
… I like the idea of a station on the moon. If we don’t do it, the Chinese will. Wait & see. As long as the station doesn’t unbalance it, like that island that was going to overturn (HA).
ZydecoBear almost 13 years ago
I used to live in Newt’s GA congressional district and it turned me into a Yellow Dog Democrat – arf!
bobballewie almost 13 years ago
And we once worried about a kneel-down quickie in the Oval Office.