Drabble by Kevin Fagan for April 05, 2024

I bet someone steals it…..

Isn’t that Norm’s philosophy in life?

THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE WORTH YOUR LIFE!

Once again, the idiot strikes. He didn’t open the ladder all the way and lock the legs. But he’ll be the one to sue the ladder manufacturer when he breaks his stupid neck.

How about a flag that says “2nd Amendment Believers”. That would scare the bejeezus out of ME.

There are some hilarious no trespassing signs out there. Like, “NO TRESPASSING - I OWN FIREARMS AND A WOODCHIPPER”. “NO TRESPASSING - VIOLATORS WILL BE SHOT AND SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN”. While good for a giggle, defense attorneys strongly advise against having signs like this. In the event of a shooting, and if there is any question at all about whether or not the shooting is justified, signs like this may tip the scales of justice just enough to make it appear that you’re a trigger-happy gun nut.

“Beware of the dog – the cat’s kind of weird too”

Or the “Protected by Smith & Weston” flag

Sister in law installed cameras around her property. 3 days later she woke up and looked at her security feed and watched some guy remove and steal all 4 cameras.

Hang a MAGA / TFG flag. Crooks don’t mess with crooks.

“Don’t even think about it.” Not sure if I heard this from my parents or in a Clint Eastwood movie. Or both.

My dog doesn’t like you.

ATTENTION BURGARS: If you proceed to the Foxtrot household, Andy will be happy to give you a delicious Tofu, Eggplant, Beet-loaf

It will be gone tomorrow morning.

But if you had security cameras you can see them stealing the flag.

“Do you prefer buckshot, 5.56mm, 9mm or .45ACP?”