F Minus by Tony Carrillo for February 05, 2022

“…swagger is a dramatization and is not an implied warranty of virility…”

“Past performance is no guarantee of future results”

Anybody else feel today’s entire strip would have been right at home in ’Zippy the Pinhead"?

And there is plenty of space on the sleeves for your feelings.

Is it just me or does he look like Mark Zuckerberg?

When I wear it to work, it gets me out of lots of jobs!

He wants her to press the Accept button.

I say burn it and all the lawyers who contributed to the invention, development, and perfection of those !@#%& things.

You do need to recite a preamble before offering an option now. Even amongst friends.

It would make you practically invisible. I have a personal theory that the End User License Agreement (EULA) for Windows is the most widely distributed, least-read document in the history of cumbersome documents.

I have, on occasion, read the E.U.L.A. on the software I buy. They are essentially “boilerplate” that stipulates that, while you might have “bought” the contents, you do not “own” the contents – the company is merely letting you “use” it for a while.

And, more to the point, if said program destroys your computer, burns down your house or rapes your spouse and children, the company cannot be held liable because you relinquished all rights when you opened the box.

Incidentally, if you’ve “opened” the box, the store from which you purchased the software is under no obligation to refund your money in the event you would be stupid enough to object to any of the E.U.L.A. provisions and wish to return the product, and, more to the point, if you don’t check the “I accept” box, the software won’t install, anyway, so you’re “screwed”, either way.

I fully expect the E.U.L.A. to evolve to the point where checking the “accept” box will transfer title to your house, your car and your first-born to “the company”, so I now avoid reading the stupid things – I’ve decided I’d rather live in ignorance rather than die in “certainty”.

Here’s a Legal Disclaimer t-shirt for sale: https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/1777987-legal-disclaimer

A woman would never wear that shirt. Creepy men would get too close to try to read the fine print.

Does it include provisions for floods, fire, frost, and frippery?