F Minus by Tony Carrillo for December 18, 2023

That’s more of an inconvenience if you ask me.

If it’s such a great thing, why wouldn’t you share it with your guests>

bachelors!

It works great with spaghetti.

if you slant the table, it will slide into your mouth

I never thought of this!

don’t even need a fork: Just play dumptruck, and tilt your plate up

A friend of my father made his own picnic table. When we saw it the first time, he told us what happened. He said, “I’m a carpenter. I can save a lot by making one.” But he also said, ‘I don’t need any plans. I know what a picnic table looks like."

From a distance, it looked fine. As I got closer, it started to look kind of… odd. From close up, it was just like this comic. The proportions were all off. I could shovel food directly into my mouth because the tabletop was above my chin.

Back in the 60’s during freshman orientation they made us eat dinner with our room mates who had been “specially selected for compatibility”. So, one pairing was a kid from a military boarding school who dressed in suit and tie and ate in square corners partnered with a slob who put his face down on the table and shoveled the food down his throat. My roommate was also a prince – while I was near death in the hospital he deflowered a virgin in my bed because he didn’t want to mess up his sheets because he had a linen contract. Also, he wasn’t sure I’d ever need my sheets again, and wouldn’t that have been a lovely sight for a grieving mother. So when I finally got out of the hospital I had to schlep my way to the laundry to clean my sheets.

better yet, put that table in the kitchen sink…

Top feeders.

Why not lower 5he table up?