Free Range by Bill Whitehead for July 23, 2019

“What do you care about it? Anyway, I’m going to slice you.”

Don’t give me any lip, or I’ll cut you up fine and throw you into some borscht.

A food critic.

If pineapples could talk those would be the only words I’d want to hear.

Huh? NO why? I’m allergic to tomatoes…

Pineapples are a little prickly on the outside when they are fresh.

Yeah! You and ham maybe some white sauce.

I like pineapple on pizza, the whole wheat Savage with everything, except anchovies.

Hawaiian Pizza has ham and pineapple. But maybe they should have Spam instead of ham, because of the Polynesian love of Spam in general. The meat in a can, not the annoying emails, that is.

that’s exactly what I intended. I don’t want to slice my tongue trying to eat you any other way, and I don’t like you that much any other way anyway

Pork kabobs with pineapple sounds more peachy.

I actually love Hawaiian pizza! Shakeys used to make ’em.

They deserve to be eaten with dignity!

I like pineapple and I like hamburger. I detest Hawaiian meatballs. The same goes for pizza; I do not like sweet protein.

Talk about ‘fresh’ fruit…..

I had some pizza a while back that I liked – thin crust, chicken, cheese and BBQ sauce.

“I wasn’t going to, but now that you’ve asked…”

I’m gonna make pineapple wine out of you. Satisfied now?

My wife had a ‘pineapple pizza’ craving when she was pregnant with our oldest son. I swear, I ate pineapple pizza 4 or 5 nights a week for months. Until then I liked it OK…can’t even stomach seeing one now.

While I admit pineapple on pizza is unusual, I still enjoy Hawaiian pizza. To each their own, I say.

Here we go again…(Pineapple and Italian Sausage)

Good for the pineapple! Ham and pineapple, yuck!

Pineapple upside-down cake!

Whoever came up with the idea of pineapple pizza is a freaking degenerate. I’m also not a fan of pineapple