Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 02, 2017

Someone used a dull razor in his ingredients?

Cookie-sharpening. Now there’s a pointless pastime. (Edgeless, too.)

Jack and the Jolly Green Bean Sprout Stock Giant…

A giant load would hep business but the TP transportation job seems hardened yet.

Good luck to the butterfly going butterfly hunting with a butterfly net.

Do those guys have any sense of smell? I’d think the manure would capture their attention more than “the cute little man”.

The delivery guy is out for deliveries to fertilize lawns..

Der hat nicht alle Tassen im Schrank.

I’m having trouble with one barrel equaling two wagon loads. These must be very large barrels, very small wagons or there is a processing step not being accounted for wherein the material is being relieved of air and water before being packed into a barrel.

Or, the barrel is another sort of fertilizer that is effectively equal to two wagon loads of organic manure. I’m sure I could find a recipe for a compost biotic tea, had I the ambition. I made some once, using grass clippings, wood chips and songbird guano, which was quite effective, though it attracted no butterflies.

Ginger cookies are sharper than, say, your average peanut butter cookie, and the common sugar cookie may be sharpened by adding a bit of lemon zest!

We know times are difficult for GoComics’ creators [insert favorite whine/complaint here >>> _____________], but have they gotten so bad that Teresa had to hire Danny “It Ain’t Rocket Surgery” Ford to write her copy?

A newly discovered illustration of Jonathan Swift and his buddy Gulliver.

The arm is down, the lights are flashing and the bells are ringing but there’s no train coming.

…or the brightest flash in the spinthariscope.

Must be referring to Emperor tRUMP !

Sharp cookies??? Hummmmm… just how does that cookie crumble?

How big is a metric barrel?

Not the brightest bulb in the marquee…

Not the lukest warm water in the sink.

Teresa, you’re scaring new readers with comics like this one. It’s like sitting in on Advanced Frog Applause when the new folks haven’t even read the syllabus for Introduction to Frog Applause. (Your subscriber numbers are dropping again.)

Don’t know why this reminded me of Frog Applause: Two black mambas fighting on a golf course.

http://tinyurl.com/y9drlxcd

Not the brightest star in the sky, just the one most infested with life-bearing planets.

“Well, there you have it,” the creature said. “You’ve realized that yours is a defensive posture. Having never been discovered in your crimes and the girl never having exposed you, the need to escape guilt still exists. That is all this is, you know. You cast yourself as a victim and I as the monster of inexact description, a vague social chimera. It is all done to escape feeling guilt. In the process of deflecting personal responsibility, you create this scene over and over. So far, we have played this out in ninety-five variations in the course of the last two minutes. It always ends in your being savagely torn apart, though you somehow bravely struggle on and never quite succumb, surviving through all the torment until the dream fades. This is your ongoing personal affirmation that you really are a good person in spite of all clear evidence to the contrary. Down here in the collective unconscious, we don’t know good and evil. Things just are the way they are, how the cookie crumbles. That’s why it all plays out down here, out of sight, and you never remember any of it.”

Indeed,, good sirs, indeed! He cannot be very sharp at all if he is the true author of that misbegotten cant below-right. Surely, if anything at all resembling what is there written, it must be one wagonload of sh*t equals two barrels full of it! How antiquated must we be? What comfort in past misunderstandings? What’s so lame about that? Or is quaint the order of the Friday?

A few staves shy of a barrel then?