Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for October 29, 2018

PRO TIP:

No one actually uses the wiener hole.

I think she makes straight jackets on the side … those are always in demand in froglandia, even when they are not.

I LIKE CLOWNS UNDIES4MEN….THE KIND THAT MAKE YOU FEEL FUNNY…AND A NEW FRIDA SOCK PUPPET.

My great-grandmother often asked me to sit with her when she sewed. One of the accessories in her sewing kit were called frogs. You only need to watch a few seconds of this video to find out what they look like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zupzBd56YA

How appropriate that this guy was given a gift with frogs on it. He’ll be the belle of the Froglandia Ball in that getup.

How particularly fitting…

I had a colleague back in the 70s whose mother made him suits out of double-knit polyester. They looked exactly as one might have expected.

My Favorite Part™ was, “My attempt was not poor economy because …”

(You tell ‘em, Sister Tee! With a little more practice on your menpersons’ outerwear needs you could soon be applying those careful tailoring skills at the Frog Applause® Bath Mat Factory. Good Job!)

She used careful tailoring, some of it even particular, and he’s still honestly surprised. Thickie.

Corduroy tee shirts and underpants so only you know the source of the buzzing.

Saturday Evening Post. 1934.

This is one of those things that makes men o’ pause.

Don’t forget the little black pumps with understated pompoms.

In my mind’s eye I can picture the ads in this publication … you know, those ads showing the perfectly dressed, apron-wearing and smiling little woman taking a roast out of her new Hotpoint oven … not to mention all the cigarette ads for Chesterfields, Lucky Strikes, and Camels ….

That doesn’t look much like a suit. A “smoking jacket” is more like it. I don’t think it was the jacket that smoked (like “A smoking hot jacket”), but you wore it lounging around the house smoking a pipe and looking “swave”. Am I sewing my age here?

Stay in your lane, dear Jane, every inch of the way. History is being made, and you have been chosen to cover our asses.

“EDGAR ALLEN POE’S MONSTER MOM PROBLEM”

Poe resurrected from the dead

By dear departed mom’s side it is said

DNA is of the unearthly kind so sublime

A giant black “spider” he can be one anytime

Halloween is every day he can see some people

If local’s disappear and loath the night

A giant crawling “spider” may set them aflight

Poe is the spirit of the night forever more…

Where is dear old mom he will find he fore swore.

I find this ad to be very demeaning to shirts and underwear, as the marketing wordsmith as much as says “you” can make those even if “you” possess no skills whatsoever. It also insults the men who would have to wear such ill-tailored products with a smile (covering over the wince). I applaud Sister’s Cartoon-Surrogate, however, who was capable of and used careful tailoring every inch of the way. Nothing Lame about Careful Tailoring (ask Elim Garak of DS9)….

sew smart

ain’t that sew