Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 24, 2019

Just doing what I do best.

It’s the thought that counts, unless you’re incompetent and you get elected president. Then nothing you do counts.

Yes sir, another one is … the hand is quicker than the eye…

Here is your wallet back.

The Jacketress – First Fashion Failure of the 20th Century.

He was the guy who added the doo-wah – doo-wahs to “It Don’t Mean a Thing if it Ain’t Got That Swing.”

I get my kix,

On route sixty-six.

God, I’m slower than normal. If I get any slower, I’ll be stopped. Which makes sense: if halt, then truly lame .

Okay. I’m in a lot of trouble here. I’ve got to try and get ahead of this. Maybe I can throw him off balance. “So you ARE a demon. But you are known as either a saint, or a spirit or a jolly old elf. Isn’t that a little bit like blasphemy? Doesn’t it clash with the deity of this universe?” Yeah… I’ve got him now. Or at least I’ve bought some breathing room. “Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho…. I can see why Violet likes you. Allow me to explain some things you wouldn’t know. First, when a deity creates a universe like this one, they create it in its entirety, from first moment to last gasp, and all possibilities are planned to the final detail. It can, and does, progress along an infinite number of intersecting and parallel time lines. That’s what I meant about sideways time. It’s like a pot thrown on a wheel. It contains a known volume of probability. They have nothing to do with it after it is complete. From then on, it just is. You determine where you are in that volume of probability. It’s like a group consensus of what is real. I can move sideways, like a crab, where you can only move forward, leaning toward a preferred direction. You want to move toward where there are no surveillance pickles, I take it?”

In the olden days, when gentlemen were gentle men, they put you down with politeness.

The Coat of Lameness has been handed down from father to son for a generation.

Well we’ll see sea hold that tounge my son.

Now say..

Crab ‘APPLe’

AND. Spring ☝.

Fall down

“Thank you for being helpful in the most useless way.” … said the bearded man upon regifting the razor strop to his clean shaven friend ….

Feel this way at work often.

“Thank you for being useless in the most helpful way.”

Frogbert’s Rules for Critique

Rule #1. Critique is Not a Competition

You do not win or lose during critique. It is not a zero sum game. You get no points for denigrating another’s work. Your work does not become better if you find fault with another’s work.

Try to avoid negative value terms.

Rule #2. Critique is Not About Compliments

“I liked it,” “It’s beautiful,” and “That’s great,” have, by themselves, no place in critique.

Rule #3. Sometimes Critique is Hard Work

The aphorism, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” also has no place in critique.

If you have genuine issues with a piece — or even if you don’t — speak up. Find something useful and constructive to say.

Rule #4. We’re All Grown-ups Here

Don’t be afraid to say something just because you’re afraid of the possibility of confrontation or that you may hurt someone’s feelings.

We’re all here to explore. Sometimes we just need to dive right in.

We didn’t come here to have an argument.

Rule # 5. Don’t Be Afraid to Comment

If something doesn’t come out the way you meant it to, that’s OK. You can always re-state or clarify. Don’t feel afraid to comment because you don’t quite know how to express what you think or feel. We’ll all work with you to help you out.

Rule #6. Keep Your Critique in Personal Terms

Use terms or phrases such as:

“I think…”

“What I saw was…”

“For me, this works (or doesn’t) because…”

“I feel that…”

“The first thing I noticed was…”

Rule #7. Don’t Take it Personally

The critiques from your fellow’s are there to help you grow. Do not allow yourself to become emotionally invested, upset, or confrontational.

Just because someone has expressed a strong negative opinion about your work is not an excuse to take an axe to theirs.

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2019/12/23/1907554/-Frogbert-s-Rules-for-Critique?utm_campaign=spotlight

“It’s literally the least I could do.”

Is useless such a tragedy to a brain surgeon slash nuclear physicist?

Useless as tits on a bull, unless you happen to be a drag queen.

Since the late war, I’ve tried to reconstruct friendships between Damn Yankees and Johnny Rebs, but it is a thankless task, or thanked only in the most useless way. I’m about to turn in my frock coat and cede to the negativity and lameness….

Dress for success!

I will bet a penny .

There is a bathmat underneath their feet...Leave a key underneath the Froglandia Bathmat.

Ho Ho Ho

Who pullef the bathmat out from under their feet?

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Useless though it may be, Merry Christmas, Frogfolk!