Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 29, 2022

Look in the cleaners cabinet to find the rank smelly worsted epaulettes.

Worse, worst, worsted.

Peter Scribblers was to blame for a possible dick jane spot remover mix up with the lost items.

So he bisected that moth and stuck a piece on each shoulder.

His epaulettes were bested during the cleaning.

Poor guy, he must feel naked. I’d loan him mine, but the last time I did that, they came back all twisted up. There’s nothing worse than twisted worsted.

He didn’t know it at the time, but it was all part of a town-wide conspiracy to drive him to madness by a never-ending series of small, but nettling, inconveniences.

Only a certain type of man would sport worsted epaulettes. Obviously, one of lower social rank.

…the wool was pulled over his eyes…

…general Mayhem & major Troublemister…

…walked into a Captain Kurt’s Oyster bar…

…got some of their award winning clam chowder…

…their worsted epaulettes caused quite a stir…

…blue and maize…

…bad form, sir…

…bad form…

…but the chowder…

…is like a party in your mouth…

…in three years we’ll all look back st this and laugh…

Were they Sanforized?

The most worsted thing that ever happened to him.

The martinet should have had them Martinized.

Lost or stolen? Better investigate this ASAP, before they sell them on E-Bay‼️

The cleaners are responsible for this and they will pay for this outrageous mishap!

Kind of like Johnny Quest and the blonde guy is not his Father? Turn Bandit loose Dr. Quest…

At least the blue scribble survived …!

Mr. French looking over Bill’s laundry found lipstick on his Fruit of the loom undies.

Pretty sure I saw your dry cleaner wearing them.

Hi, Teresa. I hope you see this. I thought this might interest you somewhat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Applause

I see the scribble! I see the scribble!

The international banking community was rocked today by the news of a new cryptocurrency startup, FrogCoin being exposed as a fraud. While people were putting their money into the currency, and its value was rising, it was rising so slowly that it aroused suspicions. Investigators discovered that the FrogCoin Co-Op, based in Froglandia, was actually using the funds to produce commodities for trade and export. Among their scandalous products were squirrel jerky, comix brush furnace pellets, comix brush fruit jams and jellies, and an assortment of bath mats. None of the money was actually ever in crypto currencies at all. They just took it, used it to make more money, and put it back, plus interest. Angry Crypto investors stormed online forums to complain. One investor, who seemed to speak for everybody, said, “This is outright fraud. Nobody lost money. Nobody embezzled anything. How could they call this a crypto currency? It is an outrage!” This sentiment seemed to be echoed by every person on every public forum. The Froglandian originators of FrogCoin could not be reached for comment. Authorities around the globe are trying to figure out how to bring some criminal charges, for something.

What’s this?! No spare epaulettes for such a contingency? How very un-prepared! How very unmilitary! Pshaw! Methinks this alleged officer should be stripped of rank and permanently de-epauletted (not to mention the problematic worsted material)!