Last Kiss by John Lustig for May 17, 2019

That Votta Von Tramp really gets around! But, in hindsight, now that I’ve said that, I realize that I’m just pointing out the obvious.

It’s a great HANDdbook for men.

I keep getting spam e-mails about how to be a better lover or increase your manhood. Turns out they’re all coming from my wife.

When did you lose your virginity?

When I was 12 … oh, wait! You mean with another person? 22.

The website is more informative with animations, .gif clips, babysitters, and pizza delivery boys.

I was in grade school when ‘Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex [But Were Afraid To Ask] came out. I’m pretty sure that giving a copy to a kid today would get me arrested.

Love makes you blind. That is why people in love has to feel their way around.

Waiting for it to come out in an audio book.

From the same folks who brought you, Prince Charles Tells You How to Pick Up Girls. ( Saturday Night Live, season 5, episode 2)

It’s good to see young people eager to learn.

anyone who is looking for a good book, I would recommend “The Guide To Getting It On” (Goofy Foot Press), which is probably now in it’s 5th edition.

So it’s a graphic novel? Personally I could do without the words. It just slows things down when you have to read.

Let’s do page 13 and then 27. (I know what you’re thinking; but page 69; that’s too obvious.)

John, I NEED an a first-edition, leather-bound, signed copy! It’s been to long; I need a refresher!!!!

Insert available hand ‘A’ into blouse ‘B’ (see figure 1)…

Wouldn’t her name be funnier if it was just Votta Tramp? ☺

Have you heard about the lonesome loser, beaten by the queen of hearts every time…

FINALLY!, the self-help book I’ve been waiting for! Is there a Kindle edition, John?

The sequel to “Sex for Dummies”.

Next up on the reading list…..Babies:Cause and Effect.

I’m putting together a class for this. Can I get a bulk educational discount???

It’s no use. I bought the book and screwed up…

You misspelled Trump.

I’m going to wait for the movie to come out!

No no – please don’t encourage them to reproduce.

Yes, I’m a failure at fornication.

Where can I get the Cliff Notes?

Oh forget that. Just buy “Kama Sutra” by Vatsayana.

That’s a neat trick there, to talk while kissing. Ventriloquism?

She can also speak with her mouth full.

They both need to forget about staying so neat ‘n pretty and get into some soul searching body violating good-old-fashioned SEX! If it feels good, do it or whatever else comes to your imagination, until someone’s brain explodes….

The ladies from the von Tramp clan is fast and easy, but they are NOT cheap.