Matt Bors for May 30, 2008

Transcript:

First we had straight marriage. Then interracial straight marriage. Now it's gay marriage. Obviously society is careening toward... MAN-ANIMAL MARRIAGE! DUH-DUH-DUUUUH! It's the next LOGICAL step. After all, dogs often express the desire to have their human sex partner handle end-of-life affairs. Dog: Timmy...it's time to pull the plug...you're young...you'll find someone else... Like humans, hamsters wish their vast property holdings could be passed on to their soulmate. Man: He wanted me to have his great grandfather's running wheel. Accidentally dropped the poor fella. And, in worst-case scenarios, lovers need the right to commit each other to mental institutions. Woman: My no good OCTOPUS HUSBAND put me here! Doctor: I see...I'm going to go ahead and up your meds! NEXT: keeping it natural with plant polygamy!