Matt Bors for June 11, 2008

Transcript:

Are your neighbors neglecting their sacred lawn mowing duties? Then your town needs some... LAWN ORDER! The city council in Canton, Ohio, has made letting grass grow too long a JAILABLE OFFENSE. Boy: They're much more lenient with us juveniles. And don't even think about letting your grass die. Soon, city-approved swatches will weed out those whose yards violate the desired color spectrum. Nuclear Green Glow $10 gift certificate to Target! Moldy Yellow Strongly worded letter Poop Brown Berated on live T.V. by the mayor. If lazy homeowners still won't mow. More drastic measures will be required. Police Officer: THREE STRIKES, YOU'RE MULCH. SOYLENT GREEN FERTILIZER