Matt Bors for March 30, 2009

Transcript:

The ENTIRE GALAXY was outraged to learn they paid for lavish bonuses to employees of the Death Star. Chewbacca: @#*$! Darth Vader says the anger level is scaring his employees. Darth Vader: Here's an email I received. "You should all be cut apart with lightsabers and fed to Jabba!" That's barbaric. Truth is. The evil base employs THOUSANDS of people, most of whom are pleasant and do not work in the department that destroys planets with a giant laser beam. Man: I run a small but profitable snack bar. Grand Moff Tarkin has graciously agreed to work for a salary of $1 a year. Tarkin: And I'll donate my bonus to a charity of orphaned ewoks... Provided I get to do the orphaning.