Matt Bors for May 27, 2009

Transcript:

TUFF ON CRIME Man #1: I represent the toughest, most jailingest district in America. We'll jail anyone AND their mother! Man #2: 15% of my constituents are in prison. The rest work at one. Not to brag, but it's a world record. Man #3: I authored the most Draconian crime bill since the Colonial era. I take perverse glee in incarceration. Man #1: But, uh, NO. We can't house any Gitmo detainees. Did I mention our supermax is made of BALSA WOOD? Man #2: NOT HERE! They could upset the delicate truce between the Skinhead 6 and the Chicano Machetes! Man #3: SORRY. My state can only house a quarter-million prisoners - and whaddaya know - WE'RE ALL FULL!