Matt Bors for January 05, 2011

Transcript:

Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed, but some conservatives want to preserve the sacred institution of SHOWERING. Man #1: When gays shower with straights, they- they OGLE their fine muscular buttocks! I...I somehow know this. The last time gays took over the showers, an empire COLLAPSED. Man #2: Throw more Christians to the lions! Man #3: And more vino! It's common knowledge General Lee lost the Civil War after seeing an irresistible farmhand wash himself. General Lee: Sweet Dixie. Even the 1994 paintball championships were sullied when a gay soaped up in the area. Man: He used all sorts of smell good stuff. I couldn't focus... Remember it like yesterday...