Matt Bors for January 27, 2016
January 19, 2016
February 03, 2016
Transcript:
Retired war criminal Donald Rumsfeld is launching a gaming app. I'm excited for us all. Donald Rumsfeld: I'm 83, feeling healthy, not in prison. I certainly deserve all this. A tech product is a bit like launching illegal wars, just with more yoga. You start by scaring up operating cash with outlandish and vague promises. Donald Rumsfeld: So many people will love this, it will pay for itself! As things don't pan out, pivot to a new strategy shrouded in impenetrable buzzwords and supreme confidence. Donald Rumsfeld: We're a platform for engagement of known unknowns... And we're six months from victory! Before it's too late, pawn the whole thing off to a new administration, declare victory and hit the Ted Talk circuit. Donald Rumsfeld: Can I borrow someone from the audience to waterboard?
