Monty by Jim Meddick for October 06, 2019

There is only one sure cure for the hiccups, take a five gallon bucket of water and dunk your head three times and pull it out twice. This will also cure a head ache and the common cold.

The bungee trick only works the first time.

There was a Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin speculated that most hiccup “cures” were just meant to amuse the sufferer’s friends.

While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend’s check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.

“Why not?” my friend asked incredulously.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, “but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,” she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000.”

“It can’t be!” he cried. “You have to be kidding!”

“Yes, I am,” she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. “But you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”

A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.

“What did you do that for?” the man asks.

“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore, do you?”

The man says, “No, but my wife out in the car still does!”

I find holding my breath for as long as I can usually works. I’ve heard a tablespoon of sugar does also.

Well…that would have scared the hic out of me…

Cartoon physics strikes again. If that’s where the bungee came to equilibrium, there should be a deep Monty-shaped impression in the sod.

It would have worked better if the Carabiner was not attached.

If Monty had known it was hooked on the SMALL brass rail rather than the larger corner post, this cure might have worked!

I’ve noticed that each hiccup is preceded by a tiny micro burp in the back of my throat. With a bit of concentration, I can block that micro burp and prevent the next hiccup. Of the people I told this to, none has noticed the micro burp phenomenon. Anyway, it works for me.

looks like his method still has a few hiccups to work out…

M & Ms … terrible candy due to the dyes, but eating it always stops my hiccups.

Next, try the old “paper bag over your head,” Monty. Except use plastic instead; I guarantee your hiccups will cease….

Hiccups are usually caused by excess oxygen in the bloodstream. IF one has that kind of hiccup, the solution is the good ol’ breathing into a paper bag until they stop. If you have hiccups caused by other issues, the solution is Google. : )

You want to be scared? Look at the Illinois State Balance Sheet!

I always thought it was a bungalow…