Monty by Jim Meddick for February 01, 2021

newton invented the cat flap

Among other things, invented calculus, which purely as a by-product, produced the value of pi to absurd precision for the times.

So what has been invented during this pandemic?

Newton invent the fig cookie.

New! Improved!! More Powerful than Ever Before!!! Conspiracy Theory 2020!!!! Each is Personalized for the discerning tastes of our audience. Pick from our extensive list of concerns from the present state of affairs in the world around us. How did all those forest fires start in California? SMOKEY the BEAR went ROGUE!!!!! (+ many more options too numerous to list here).

I seem to recall during the Hong Kong Flu of 1969 they said “To hell with this. I’m going to Woodstock.”

Getting vaccine does NOT mean going back to normal. Until those that refuse the vaccine die off. (Core-of-the-herd immunity.)

Newton invented one of those fruit picking cages on the end of a pole.

Israel just announced 50% of their population has been vaccinated. In Wisconsin; with a similar population only has 17%. Why?

That apples don’t fall far from the tree.

If you really want to be cowed about how little you’ve accomplished in your own life, reflect on the fact that Isaac Newton spent most of his own on numerology, alchemy, Biblical interpretation, and spiritualism. The stuff he did with math and physics was just a hobby.

Is it harder to type when you only have 6 fingers and 2 thumbs? Does he use octal math instead of decimal?

But I’m a level 87 mage on Dungeon Quest!

Laws of motion, gravity, & color spectrum of light

Everyone knows that Newton invented gravity!

At the rate vaccines are coming out, I could write several novels before I get vaccinated, if I was so inclined to write novels.

What is this concept of taking time off during COVID? I’ve been working 12 hr. shifts, 6 days a week (on a good week) since it began.

Even when I caught it, my supervisor called me 2 days after I was diagnosed, asking if I could work.

But Monty did eat all those Fig Newtons during the lockdown.

Such fun to see the nervous jitters of the word-blocked jotter! Not everyone has a book in him, Monty….

Along with yesterday’s binge Netflix strip, this one strikes a little too close to home.