Editor: “And we’ll need you to give us a new set every issue. Can you make it 11 tips by the 15th, to give us time to run them by the focus group, in case we need to cut one?”
Aren’t “Keeping yourself smite-free” what the 10 commandments are about, anyway? I think it would have worked – considering the influence of women in the old testament, why not?
“What’s wrong with the stone tablets?"Do you have any idea what the postage on those babies would be? You’d never be able to sell subscriptions with stone tablet fall-outs.
I liked the one from “History Of The World Part 1”, where Moses showed up with three tablets and said "I give you the 15 commandments , then slips and drops one of the tablets, without missing a beat picks up with 10 , I give you these 10 commandments from God! Great movie great cast.
It’s amazing to me that people who can’t figure out how to program their DVRs or their smartphones can tell you what an omniscient, omnipotent entity is thinking.
Yet another reason men and women will never understand each other. Women engage in a social dance and say the opposite of what they mean, men are blunt and straightforward about what they mean. It’s called “communication.” No wonder YWH chose a guy to deliver the Ten Commandments; He wanted someone who would just come out and say what was meant.
God cannot be a woman. Otherwise she would not have created PMS, morning sickness, labor pains and menopause. God cannot be a man. Otherwise the universe would be held together with duct tape.
Three segments: Judaism, Christianity, Islam, same “God of Abraham”. About those ten (or was it originally 15?) “commandments”, followed by the over 600 laws Moses handed down, the basis for all the restrictions, especially on women. (good point, as usual, Wiley)
hsawlrae over 10 years ago
Hilareous.
jreckard over 10 years ago
Actually, before Moses, God tried Noah.
{sigh}
Dtroutma over 10 years ago
but Cain set the role model for “men”, all eve did was try set the stage for Baseball, mom, and apple pie!
Ida No over 10 years ago
Editor: “And we’ll need you to give us a new set every issue. Can you make it 11 tips by the 15th, to give us time to run them by the focus group, in case we need to cut one?”
pcolli over 10 years ago
“Could you print them on something we could give away with each issue?”
keenanthelibrarian over 10 years ago
Aren’t “Keeping yourself smite-free” what the 10 commandments are about, anyway? I think it would have worked – considering the influence of women in the old testament, why not?
Brass Orchid Premium Member over 10 years ago
Call it “Rules For Rebels:Ten Ways to Defy God’s Plans for Your Downfall.”You just have to know your audience.
Aaberon over 10 years ago
Naaaawwww! (Hope you were chuckling as you typed your words – I don’t want to offend anyone’s beliefs.)
Aaberon over 10 years ago
I really, really like the garden idea a lot! (Why am I suddenly seeing infomercials regarding this in the sidebar…?)
Linguist over 10 years ago
Next Week: Ten Great Ways To Know If Your Following the Ten Great Tips
alan.gurka over 10 years ago
And before them all, there was Hugh Hefner’s “10 ways to pick up hot chicks—not!”
The Life I Draw Upon over 10 years ago
What? No quizzes or surveys to drive your man crazy.
Enoki over 10 years ago
No wonder God makes them wear burkas….Opps! Sorry, wrong God!
Potrzebie over 10 years ago
Speaking of those tablets, have you ever seen them displayed in people’s yards?
dabugger over 10 years ago
Not true, She threw the dice and came up snake eyes…..
Ida No over 10 years ago
“What’s wrong with the stone tablets?"Do you have any idea what the postage on those babies would be? You’d never be able to sell subscriptions with stone tablet fall-outs.
wmeahan over 10 years ago
Internet editor, not simply womens magazine editor. Buzzfeed, Cracked, HuffPost etc. etc. etc.
yimhere over 10 years ago
The Almighty’s fortunate she’s not chipping away with edits…
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr over 10 years ago
(An actual page pairing.)
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr over 10 years ago
This one about not “killing”; does this preclude sports analogies, and little black dresses?
Caddy57 over 10 years ago
I liked the one from “History Of The World Part 1”, where Moses showed up with three tablets and said "I give you the 15 commandments , then slips and drops one of the tablets, without missing a beat picks up with 10 , I give you these 10 commandments from God! Great movie great cast.
Melekalikimaka over 10 years ago
I thought the 10 commandments were good suggestions on the things to avoid in order to get through life with the least amount of drama.
jahoody over 10 years ago
@hsawirae…………..the word is spelled Hilarious…….better get spell check
jack fairbanks over 10 years ago
50 ways to wash your face in the blood of the lamb
KEA over 10 years ago
It’s amazing to me that people who can’t figure out how to program their DVRs or their smartphones can tell you what an omniscient, omnipotent entity is thinking.
Emlyn Premium Member over 10 years ago
You can keep all 10 and still get smitten.
Ernest Lemmingway over 10 years ago
Yet another reason men and women will never understand each other. Women engage in a social dance and say the opposite of what they mean, men are blunt and straightforward about what they mean. It’s called “communication.” No wonder YWH chose a guy to deliver the Ten Commandments; He wanted someone who would just come out and say what was meant.
dflak over 10 years ago
God cannot be a woman. Otherwise she would not have created PMS, morning sickness, labor pains and menopause. God cannot be a man. Otherwise the universe would be held together with duct tape.
jnnydnti over 10 years ago
“Cleveland Mom Uses Ten Weird Tricks to Avoid Smitings.”
davbart92663 over 10 years ago
Don’t forget the perfume samples attached to every tablet.
klunker rider over 10 years ago
“Oh Lord we thank thee for these 15…(a tablet slips out of Moses hands and smashes on the rocks)…ahhh,10, yes… 10 Commandments…!!!”
History of the World, Part 1. Mel Brooks
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr over 10 years ago
Don’t even ASK about the burning bush thing.
lmonteros over 10 years ago
Or Yahoo! news, style, entertainment, whatever. Everything is a numbered list on Yahoo!
westny77 over 10 years ago
Very cute. There is overkill. Moses must of gotten to the point.
tomielm over 10 years ago
Could they do any worse than men have done? Think about it (if you’re capable)!
Dtroutma over 10 years ago
Three segments: Judaism, Christianity, Islam, same “God of Abraham”. About those ten (or was it originally 15?) “commandments”, followed by the over 600 laws Moses handed down, the basis for all the restrictions, especially on women. (good point, as usual, Wiley)
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr over 10 years ago
“Thou shalt not open a Red Lobster in the ‘holy’ land.”