Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for February 22, 2019

He forgot the hospital elevator constantly running up and down next door all night.

I have often wondered how they got to sleep with all those wires attached to them.

I refused to do it because I knew I couldn’t! I had sinus surgery instead. How does anyone sleep with a C-Pap machine?

I have gone through a sleep study and this is exactly how they test you! It’s insane! I hardly slept at all. It was a miserable experience!

Wait, I got to go to the bathroom!

I have a hard enough time getting a good night’s sleep at home and in my own bed.

I had a sleep test in 2009, but they just sent me home with a glove-like device that somehow contains sensors for heart rate, oxygen flow and breathing rate, which I had to wear one night while I slept.

After I returned it, I had to go in again to learn the results.

The in-lab sleep study tests for a lot of different problems… all those attachments can track air flow, snoring, eye movements, chest expansion, etc…

The home “glove” test is just for apnea, but that’s the problem in at least 75% of cases, so nowadays they usually do that first, and only do the other one if they need to.

In my case, I had severe apnea, and was put on CPAP…. it’ll be 10 years in April…

and I gotta tell you… it changed my life.

Yeah, it takes some getting used to, but you do…

IF you quit focusing on the negative aspects, ie telling yourself how hard it is, or how you just can’t….

Stopping for two days out of five… things like that just set you back.

If you just DO it, it gets easier, and once you start getting better sleep, and waking up feeling happier, and more alive, you’re more motivated….

I had to go back a couple of times, try three different masks before I found the right one… but within a month it just felt normal.

Yeah, I hated it at first…. but six months later I had to sleep without it for a couple of days, and it was torture.

It made me realise how many years I woke up exhausted, and feeling beat up, before I knew.

If you’re told you snore; or you can’t breathe through your nose at night….

if you have a hard time sleeping… honestly…. try to get tested.

It might disturb one night but make all the rest so much better.

And no… I don’t work for a CPAP company!

I roll over in my sleep way too often for this to work on me.

I’ve been there. Worst night’s sleep of my life.

My husband (like most of his family) snores and I talked him into taking the apnea test and they determined that he did have sleep apnea but he refused to use the machine. My doctor thought I had it as well but turns out my sleep problem was that my husband’s snoring pattern (not the decibels) was interfering with my breathing pattern - sort of like trying to keep pace with someone with longer legs — my breathing was trying to keep pace with his and I wasn’t able to breathe deeply. The solution was separate bedrooms. He still snores (very loudly) but I sleep like a baby.

These comments aren’t funny at all.

And when they leave the room they tell you: “I’ll be back”

OK. What happens now that he’s been assimilated?

“That’s the problem Doc, I can’t ever sleep because it feels like someone is watching me.”

I have friends who swear by their CPAP/BiPAP machines. One had a next-door neighbor with sleep apnea who snored like a steam locomotive & kept her awake all night (she measured him at 120db through the wall). Everyone tried to talk him into getting a sleep study & a CPAP but he refused. One night he stopped breathing in his sleep & never started up again. Not the happiest way to solve the problem.

This is so true!

Oh man, there’s so much truth in that.

My wife can.

OMG, this is too accurate! I’ve had 3 sleep studies & this couldn’t be more ON the Mark! Thanks for the laugh. Did you have a sleep study too?

This is a test for sleepless night

Been there, done that. No sleep for me.

Too anyone who thinks the comments about decibels is exaggerating. They are not. Before I had my surgeryI lived in an apartment complex. I was the center unit with people above and beside me. When I snored someone always woke me beating on my door. I would take my sleeping bag and retire to my truck. It worked. Kept peace in the neighborhood, and fortunately they also understood it was a medical issue. The CPAP does take getting used to but it does work. After a year wearing it I felt I could try a night without it. Been a few times I needed to wear it a night or two, but never long term.

She forgot to mention that they will be coming in once an hour to take readings.

Just pretend you’re a meatball on a plate of spaghetti.

I went through one of those tests many moons ago, I never slept a wink. :P

I was surprised I could sleep eventually – with hoses and wires attached

Fact of the matter is that not all are diagnosed with sleep disorders -which always made me wonder HOW that could be the case when they test with all the wires, hoses, etc. and tell you to ‘sleep like you normally would’. And I was always amazed when they would tell me how “well” I “slept” when it felt like I didn’t sleep a wink. I hate having to undergo sleep studies (I’ve been overdue for more than a year, and keep putting it off).

Sleep is for the weak.

What is going on?

It tain’t easy.