Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for March 26, 2021

Throw the book at ’em!

Hide me, friends! I parked in a driveway!!

So, this is what the hyooman society has come to, eh. Release the murderers and criminals and then arrest hapless folks like this. Great progress, hyoomans. Thanks goodness I is a bear.

I had a regular burrito for breakfast.

The rules don’t apply during COVID lockdowns….

This sounds like something Fox News will be fear mongering about in very serious tones and with lots of confused looks by Tucker Carlson as he pretends to be very concerned.

Oh, I thought it was a new Alanis Morissette song.

Ate that lunch meat yesterday..fried up with BBQ sauce…fattening but whatta a taste!

Wore white after Labor Day! ((((((((( GASP! ))))))))))

Worse yet – using the jelly knife to spread butter …

And the major one, removed mattress tag

removed the tag from a mattress

Hot dog etiquette…no ketchup!

I’ve done three of the four regularly. No sun dress

I ate a club sandwich, but I’m not a member.

Wayyyyyyy “off the mark”.

I ate peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon.

I once ate a hot dog that was cold.

Poached swimsuit outside of swimsuit season.

Or is that a job for Fish And Wildlife?

And the sworn complaint was in a very loud hectoring voice – heard 10 blocks away.

You forgot to include the one about the female black GA state Representative Park Cannon, who was arrested for simply knocking on GA Governor Kemp’s door while he signed the voter suppression bill into law…

Or taking two newspaper from the rack, but only paying for one!!

I had breakfast for dinner.

Put a cup of tea on a coffee table.

Sandals with socks.