Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 03, 2013
Transcript:
Pig: Whatcha doin', Rat? Rat: I got a job as a college admissions officer. Right now I'm reviewing the applicants' essays. "My unique experience in the Amazon rainforest has prepared me for your university's excellent... Assisting my uncle in overcoming physical challenges has taught me that an education at your great institution will... My goal is to receive a broad-based liberal arts education and there is no better place to achieve that than at your fine... Yo. Just need a place to party for 4 years." *STAMP* "Accepted" Rat: I like the honest ones.
JoeyCooler777 about 11 years ago
It’s sad that a lot of people actually do treat college like that.
Rod Gonzalez about 11 years ago
Rat SUCKS!
Sherlock Watson about 11 years ago
This is why so many countries are ahead of us nowadays.
zero about 11 years ago
They should honestly be trained as janitors…
Sisyphos about 11 years ago
Whoever hired Rat should be fired. —Unless the school’s goal is to get into the “Top Ten Party Schools” rankings….
blunebottle about 11 years ago
Just goes to prove….honesty is the best policy!
Jonathan Mason about 11 years ago
Part of the university experience is to have fun – work hard, play hard was our motto. It’s the only time in most young adults’ lives when they can really let their hair down. In their early years they have to conform to their parents’ rules, then, post-graduation, they have to conform to society’s rules: get a job, work all hours to pay off your student debt and a mortgage, etc.
PICTO about 11 years ago
I honestly didn’t know if I should pursue a higher education or get drunk, now I can do both.
phaze58 about 11 years ago
In engerland wi av reely gud edukashun,and ower collejus r sekund tu nun.
joeshmo30 about 11 years ago
XP you know what, thats what im gonna put on mine, :D
dieseldude about 11 years ago
I saw a homeless man standing on the corner with a sign that read…..( I’m not going to lie I need a beer) So I gave him some money!
flashnzoom about 11 years ago
Yo I’m a stud running back that needs free tutoring and 4 years of free schoolin. In return I win you some games dawg.
dieseldude about 11 years ago
Even OLE McDONALD COULDN’T SPELL CAT… E I E I O
A_NY_Outlaw about 11 years ago
seems like too many college admissions officers have this mindset.
Carl Rennhack Premium Member about 11 years ago
That honest applicant has little if any future in politics!
Lorenzo Browncoat about 11 years ago
He left out the one that says, " Ive got the cash to pay for it, let me in…"
knight1192a about 11 years ago
And what’s to say the other three weren’t being honest. Fact is Rat doesn’t like anyone who is far smarter than he is.
route66paul about 11 years ago
College is a 4 year plan how to wake up with a hangover and how to live cheaplyWorking is a way that you don’t have to live cheaply.
Radical-Knight about 11 years ago
He probably moon-lights as a reviewer of resumes of potential job applicants also.
Michael Ritter about 11 years ago
I’m surprised Stephan didn’t squeeze a Cal vs Stanford theme into this. Palo Alto’s a great place to party – if you can afford it.
susan.e.a.c about 11 years ago
At one university the female president told the newbies not to call campus security unless something they owned and cared about was damaged or stolen…so if their dorm was wrecked, if they were forced to have sex, keep it quiet, tell the dorm leader if you needed something fixed/replaced, campus security was the enemy. Amazingly, she’s still president.
kennyt2011 about 11 years ago
That’s why get a job save pay cash for a couple classes at a local school. Prep you for life. Most colleges prep you for partay and …….what ya mean interns don’t get rate??!!!!
Aviatrexx Premium Member about 11 years ago
Rat is at least as assiduous as the real SAT essay readers who are expected to evaluate 20 essay per hour. And paid extra if they can process more.
Corey Cohen about 11 years ago
You can learn a lot at parties.
Rista about 11 years ago
I suspect students would take their educations more seriously if that education was more relevant to their future needs. As a returning adult student I have been stunned at how many courses I am forced to take that have absolutely NOTHING to do with my degree. The excuse of “well rounded education” is just that, an excuse. Laser focusing the classes to create degrees relevant to the career planned would cut the amount of time needed in college by 2/3ds. Of course, that would also cut the amount of profit the college makes as well. Do you have any idea of the number of deliberately created ‘washout’ classes specifically designed to be failed so the student must take the class 2 or even 3 times? Students don’t simply vanish when they fail a class, they come back again and do it over and each time they do, they pay full price for the class again. You think that’s not planned into the system?Recently I checked the requirements on a tech certificate in electrical engineering. The only math needed is no higher than 112. Yet it is required to complete advanced calculus to get a the tech certification. The excuse from the college was “Well you might decide to go on to a full degree later” Any logical person would say “Well if you decide to go on then will be the time to take those advanced math classes.”
melaubrey about 11 years ago
It is a comic strip. Relax. I partied like mad, made some of my best friends, and got a Doctoral Degree.
robert423elliott about 2 years ago
Name the country that you think is ahead of us. Then, look at how they live. Then tell me, are they REALLY ahead of us. Most people might say, “China”. YOU wanna live there? Look at their system of government. Not so smart, are they?