Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 13, 2015
Transcript:
Goat: Hey, Rat, this is my friend, Thomas. Rat: Wow, you're tall. How- Thomas: -tall am I? Six foot six. And no, I did not play basketball. So if you're done asking me the two questions I get to hear twenty times a day, I"m now gonna knee you in the head. Rat: Tall people have short tempers.
Sherlock Watson over 9 years ago
I’m guessing Thomas’s favorite song is “Short People” by Randy Newman.
Bilan over 9 years ago
Then what’s Rat’s reason?
blunebottle over 9 years ago
Wow- Rat gets it in this one.
Alexander the Good Enough over 9 years ago
I have a fearless young woman friend who is 6’ 5", doesn’t mind it a bit, and works it. When someone asks her how tall she is, she charges them a buck for the answer, then plays the lottery with the money. What’s more, she tells me that when she grows up, she’s going to be a dominatrix. Hates basketball, BTW.
wiselad over 9 years ago
lot of average joes can do what Thomas did to Rat
alviebird over 9 years ago
I was only 6’-2", but I hit it at a very early age. (Was, because I’ve since shrunk.) I did not like all the pressure to play basketball. I didn’t like the game then, and think less of it now.
GuntherGrass over 9 years ago
I thought that everybody loves basketball, except for me. My friends look askance at me when I don’t share their joy about the Kings and their new arena
Woody157 over 9 years ago
“How is the weather up there, Thomas? I bet the air is kinda thin at that altitude. "
TMO1 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Rat had it coming, but not for this. Karma?
phylum over 9 years ago
I notice that Thomas missed rats head by about one neck and torso..however that may not have been a miss…
knight1192a over 9 years ago
He only kneed him in the head cause the oompla-loompas were too low to knee and he didn’t want to dirty his shoes kicking him there.
PICTO over 9 years ago
He could have at least slam dunked Rat into the coffee cup.
cdward over 9 years ago
I’m playing my tiny violin for the tall guy. Poor baby gets asked how tall he is and if he plays basketball. Geez. Try being short and dealing with the garbage people give you. Including a song that starts, “short people got no reason to live…”
Sisyphos over 9 years ago
Ooooh! Love to see Rat taking it on the chin! He’s been having a real streak of payback for all his wicked ways! Hope he enjoys it….
shade8211 over 9 years ago
6’8’ and I agree with Thomas first 2 questions every time.
rdf5890 Premium Member over 9 years ago
A tall friend of mine once said that when asked “How’s the weather up there?” he would spit on their head and say “Its raining.”
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 9 years ago
Long time ago I had a classmate who was 6’ 10". When asked the basketball kweschun, he replied, “No. Do you play MINATURE golf?”
grassler over 9 years ago
All I ever say is that I walk into open cabinet doors a lot
nmcconnell over 9 years ago
I have a friend that is close to 7-foot tall. Recently he was wearing a t-shirt that said “Hard to kidnap”
Cameron1988 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Right in the groan! Nice one, Thomas! Rat, so deserves it
puddlesplatt over 9 years ago
was never allowed to play sports…hence I hate them!
Reppr Premium Member over 9 years ago
Short tempers? yes, I guess we do. Ever notice how short people ask you to get things off the top shelf for them but they get offended if you ask them to get something off the bottom shelf?
jersey stevens over 9 years ago
I’m six foot six, and I dont get asked that 20x a day. I walk in and people just stare. fine. get out of my way and dont piss me off
amaryllis2 Premium Member over 9 years ago
6’6" isn’t tall around here. Back in school my husband got spotted by a basketball coach, who started harassing him and saying You’re going to be on my team or I’m going to kick you between the teeth. His response was, I don’t think you can get your foot that high as he walked away.
abbybookcase over 9 years ago
i’m “vertically impaired”. one of the few times i liked garfield. jon asks how’s the weather down there? garfield claws his knees to shreds. then says flatly—drafty.we all have our crosses to bear. frankly the world gives way more to the tall than the short.
Number Three over 9 years ago
I am 20 and 5’2. I would love to be at least 5’6.But never mind. It’s not really a big deal for me.xxx
Godfreydaniel over 9 years ago
Isn’t it out of character for Goat to have a violent friend? (Isn’t it out of character for Goat to have ANY kind of a friend?)
sevenfeet0 over 9 years ago
Do we hear the first two questions every day? Yes. But I long got used to it. Sometimes you meet nice people that way.
penny1017 over 9 years ago
Hitting a little close to home there Steph!
claire de la lune. over 9 years ago
Tall Thomas.Huehue.
beammeup1701 (Bozo by Foxo makes everyone happy!) over 9 years ago
I’m 6’ 3" and have been tall since my early teens. Way back when, I developed what I thought was the perfect answer when short people asked me “what’s the weather like up there?” I just look down at them, grin real big, and say, “You’ll never know…”
Digital Frog over 9 years ago
I like the response to the basketball question: “Do you play miniature golf?”
Goblinopolis over 9 years ago
I’m only 6’3" and I got that question frequently as a young man. Of course that was before NBA players started exceeding the 7’ mark on a regular basis.
Die Barney about 4 years ago
Hey! I’m a tall person!
alantain over 1 year ago
Short people have shorter tempers. Especially when you hate getting elbowed in the head by an unobservant tall person.