Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 06, 2016
February 05, 2016
February 07, 2016
Transcript:
Goat: Are you religious?
Rat: When it's convenient.
Goat: What does that mean?
Rat: When I want to judge others or fear impending death.
Goat: I think that's called opportunism.
Rat: Then I'm its patron saint!
I thought Rat was a Seventh-Day Adventurist.:“Thou shalt keep Saturday holy by getting bombed and chasing babes, in hopes that one shall lead you into Paradise.”
I was raised Catholic but converted to atheism as an adult. When I get startled (think spider!) or I do something like stub my toe I always shout, “Oh my god!!!” to my husband’s amusement. He likes to retort, “I thought you didn’t believe in god….” So I’m working on replacing “god” with “universe”.
And yes, there are people who apply religious principles to the choices they themselves make in their own lives. I know a few of them. But there are, judging by those I’ve met, far more people who apply those principles only to OTHER people and the choices they make in THEIR lives. Without fail, the most in-your-face “Christian” people I’ve encountered in my long life have been the least Christian in their behavior toward others. Apparently it doesn’t make them kind, and generous, and loyal, and honest. They have proven to be selfish, venal, greedy, and self-righteous.
Principles, truly held, are what we apply to ourselves, not what we use to judge others.
Actually, it’s plenty christian; both testaments are filled with genocides commanded by god in the past, and yet to come.But, I agree with you that it’s a great way to bring out the fundagelical vote.
But, since they’re not Christians, they don’t strictly qualify as ‘people’ to Ted. Since JEB! will have gotten all the ChrIstians out as refugees by then.
Faith is belief in something you can neither see, nor otherwise prove exists. Religion is a construct of man, to allow him to practice his faith in a way he prefers. That’s why there’s only 11 major faiths in this world (Judaism, Christianity, Islamic, Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism, Jainism, Shinto, Sikhism, Taoism, and Zoroastrianism).
There are, however, approximately 4200 religions in the world, catering to every possible belief, it seems. Might as well throw Atheism in with the lot, as, more and more, it is acting as much like a religion as any other one out there.
BE THIS GUY almost 9 years ago
Finally, someone who makes sense of religion.
Sherlock Watson almost 9 years ago
I thought Rat was a Seventh-Day Adventurist.:“Thou shalt keep Saturday holy by getting bombed and chasing babes, in hopes that one shall lead you into Paradise.”
Ida No almost 9 years ago
Saint Rat.Isn’t that already taken?How do you petition him and what fields does he cover, exactly?
Constancy almost 9 years ago
There is always an oppurtunity to repent.
cdgar almost 9 years ago
I’m realizing that I’m more and more like Rat as I age.
Diane in comics land Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Sorry, Rat, but there are millions ahead of you for that position
juicebruce almost 9 years ago
Larry Croc could be the patron saint of _______ ? BEER !
Kalkkuna almost 9 years ago
Larry Croc is just spirit-filled.
JudyAz almost 9 years ago
…and others who would just like to cannonize him
peabodyboy almost 9 years ago
Not quite, Rat. Religion has other purposes, like when you want votes or money or a shorter prison sentence.
Nicole ♫ ⊱✿ ◕‿◕✿⊰♫ Premium Member almost 9 years ago
I was raised Catholic but converted to atheism as an adult. When I get startled (think spider!) or I do something like stub my toe I always shout, “Oh my god!!!” to my husband’s amusement. He likes to retort, “I thought you didn’t believe in god….” So I’m working on replacing “god” with “universe”.
Al Nala almost 9 years ago
More would like to cannon-ize him. (Where’s little guard duck?)
KEA almost 9 years ago
Rat certainly isn’t alone.
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 9 years ago
It was very well put.
And yes, there are people who apply religious principles to the choices they themselves make in their own lives. I know a few of them. But there are, judging by those I’ve met, far more people who apply those principles only to OTHER people and the choices they make in THEIR lives. Without fail, the most in-your-face “Christian” people I’ve encountered in my long life have been the least Christian in their behavior toward others. Apparently it doesn’t make them kind, and generous, and loyal, and honest. They have proven to be selfish, venal, greedy, and self-righteous.
Principles, truly held, are what we apply to ourselves, not what we use to judge others.
Ermine Notyours almost 9 years ago
Rat is already in the rotation for a Chinese year, and now he wants to be a saint too?
peabodyboy almost 9 years ago
If Ted Cruz is going to heaven, then Mark Twain was right. “Heaven for climate, Hell for company.”
Number Three almost 9 years ago
I am not putting out my religious beliefs here. I know better than to start a flame war in the comment section.xxx
Faith :) almost 9 years ago
Okay, I will take your answer as a no, rat
markjoseph125 almost 9 years ago
Actually, it’s plenty christian; both testaments are filled with genocides commanded by god in the past, and yet to come.But, I agree with you that it’s a great way to bring out the fundagelical vote.
Sisyphos almost 9 years ago
“Saint Rat”: one of your best jokes ever, Cartoon-Boy!
kaffekup almost 9 years ago
But, since they’re not Christians, they don’t strictly qualify as ‘people’ to Ted. Since JEB! will have gotten all the ChrIstians out as refugees by then.
abbybookcase almost 9 years ago
i shall be the patron saint of procrastination. with my saint’s day being 6 months after my birthday. all hail me…. sometime next week
BillS123 almost 9 years ago
Faith is belief in something you can neither see, nor otherwise prove exists. Religion is a construct of man, to allow him to practice his faith in a way he prefers. That’s why there’s only 11 major faiths in this world (Judaism, Christianity, Islamic, Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism, Jainism, Shinto, Sikhism, Taoism, and Zoroastrianism).
There are, however, approximately 4200 religions in the world, catering to every possible belief, it seems. Might as well throw Atheism in with the lot, as, more and more, it is acting as much like a religion as any other one out there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions_and_spiritual_traditions
LOAFY almost 4 years ago
Sad but true. That’s what makes it hilarious. This is my favorite type of Pearls Before Swine strip. Call people out on their sh*t!
alantain over 1 year ago
Actually, he isn’t far wrong. I think most people are conditionally religious. Especially when they’ve placed a bet or faced with certain death.