Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 14, 2017

Love should be like mustard; somewhat spicy and salty and has a long shelf life.

To: Zeeba NeighbaFrom: Da Bruddahud o’ Zeeba Zeeba Eata Peese Die aend Be Ouh Fud!Hahppee Valeentyne Day.Da CrokydilesP.S. Does you wan us shuut ahows troo ya heaht?

My relationships are more like salsa: hot and spicy at first, but they hurt like hell in the end.

If I did a food analogy on love, it’d be like cheese: gets better with age.

Love is like mayonnaise. You keep it in a little glass jar in the fridge until you want it.

Pastis, it Year of Rooster! Introduce Rooster character for gud luk wt Asian readers. Maybe you get purty Asian gurl friend for New year. Wat wait for?/

@JAMES1155

I think his wife may have a problem with that.

Gosh, every time I read what she’s saying I picture it in that grumpy wife voice from the old Loony Toons cartoons.

It thought dat count.

She thinks he’s too cheap to buy a card and take her out to dinner.

He might be able to sell that card at the “Shoe” comic strip.

And incurable romantic, he is.

When you’re right, you’re right!

Love is a nose, and you better not pick it.

Love is like a box of chocolates: No matter how good it may seem right now, sooner or later, you’re gonna grab a coconut.

At least Larry won’t have to get up to go to sleep – he’s already on his “bed”…

“You have the complexion of a peach….. yellow and fuzzy”

“Love is Like Oxygen”. Can’t live without it, but in its purest form it’s corrosive.

Thank you for the crocs,

CROCS!

Love is like “special sauce”. Better not to worry about what’s in it.

Thank you for bringing back the crocs.

depends on the thought

Love is like shopping; it doesn’t cost so much if you know where to look for it.

Larry is right. It IS the thought that counts. And his thought is going to land him in divorce court.

What’s wrong with good ol’ “Roses are Red, Violets are Blue”?

xxx

Larry and Patty! The Croc love story of the ages!

Hear Patty declaim! Hear Larry’s feeble riposte!

Keep Junior out of the room, ’cause the following romantic interlude will not be G-rated….

He writes better than he speaks!

My wife wouldn’t appreciate this sentiment. She’s allergic to mayo.

That is a Christmas excuse though.

Nuh uh Larry. That is a Christmas or birthday present excuse.