Pig: There are so many things I want to do with my life, but I don’t do them because I’m afraid I will go to jail.Rat: That’s smart, because at the end of your life you want to make sure to get the “clean criminal history” award.Rat: Oh wait. That doesn’t exist.
Prisons are for those who are not deterred by shame.
But please remember to always wear clean underwear without tears or holes, because if you get run over be a truck, you don’t want the undertakers to be whispering bad things about you.
I am an elderly, American, upper middle class, white, Christian, politically conservative, heterosexual, male. And I am NOT ashamed of any part of that demographic profile. There. I’ve said it.
A rewrite chorus of Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” with Pig in mind. Goes something like this: “It’s my life, it’s now or never, but I am not considered clever, I just want some good results, cause it’s my life. I can’t seem to work things out, cause I don’t have any clout, but I am somewhat happy I’m alive, it’s my life. Still, my life is like an open sewer, nothing around here is getting any newer, and, I, I just want to—um— to eat some more cheese, cause it tastes real good -AND- my life ain’t turning out the way it should, I think I should just eat while I’m alive, so it’s my life; hey— I just want to say—”What!" my friends are hopeless anyway, but, please don’t tell my sister or my wife, cause, well, it’s my life.
BE THIS GUY about 6 years ago
Rat may not realize it but he just did a good thing.
hangedman about 6 years ago
Right on! Social media, Facebook! Bah! Why care about what a bunch of people you’ve never even met before think?! I give Rat a thumbs up on this one.
the lost wizard about 6 years ago
Sometimes you’ve just got to say WTF.
blunebottle about 6 years ago
Love this one! It’s a keeper.
gbars70 about 6 years ago
Rat can most times be a reprehensible jerk, but occasionally he spouts some ‘in your face’ beneficial philosophy.
chris_weaver about 6 years ago
But if you did win that award, people might think you’re a dork!
about 6 years ago
Wow, another good example of Rat being right. I’m impressed.
Kind&Kinder about 6 years ago
This one’s worth printing large and hanging in every school, college and university. Truer words….!
Troglodyte about 6 years ago
It’s a choice between please-all and f**k-all, I guess.
AtariDragon about 6 years ago
Pig: There are so many things I want to do with my life, but I don’t do them because I’m afraid I will go to jail.Rat: That’s smart, because at the end of your life you want to make sure to get the “clean criminal history” award.Rat: Oh wait. That doesn’t exist.
Prisons are for those who are not deterred by shame.
Breadboard about 6 years ago
Must check with Larry Croc on this one….Croc Power :-)
NeedaChuckle Premium Member about 6 years ago
Don’t care what people think of me. I don’t need to grovel for approval.
tripwire45 about 6 years ago
Stephan’s on a roll.
garcoa about 6 years ago
But please remember to always wear clean underwear without tears or holes, because if you get run over be a truck, you don’t want the undertakers to be whispering bad things about you.
Reader about 6 years ago
Well, here’s what I think…oh….never mind…you might think I’m…just forget it….
skipper1992 about 6 years ago
Stephan, I offer you what I believe may be one of the highest compliments a cartoonist can receive:
This is going on my refrigerator.
Radish the wordsmith about 6 years ago
If you are going to be criticized for everything you do
you might as well do as you like and be criticized for that.
DCBakerEsq about 6 years ago
LIFE 101. Life sucks. Then, you die.
Holden Awn about 6 years ago
I am an elderly, American, upper middle class, white, Christian, politically conservative, heterosexual, male. And I am NOT ashamed of any part of that demographic profile. There. I’ve said it.
Diane Lee Premium Member about 6 years ago
One sure sign that you haven’t done anything worth mentioning is that no one got upset that you had done it.
billswingle about 6 years ago
Yet another excellent strip. Well done Stephan!
Al Nala about 6 years ago
Pig is WOKE-resistant.
Cameron1988 Premium Member about 6 years ago
Rat is correct
GeifuKe about 6 years ago
A rewrite chorus of Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” with Pig in mind. Goes something like this: “It’s my life, it’s now or never, but I am not considered clever, I just want some good results, cause it’s my life. I can’t seem to work things out, cause I don’t have any clout, but I am somewhat happy I’m alive, it’s my life. Still, my life is like an open sewer, nothing around here is getting any newer, and, I, I just want to—um— to eat some more cheese, cause it tastes real good -AND- my life ain’t turning out the way it should, I think I should just eat while I’m alive, so it’s my life; hey— I just want to say—”What!" my friends are hopeless anyway, but, please don’t tell my sister or my wife, cause, well, it’s my life.
Sisyphos about 6 years ago
Rat speak with barbed tongue!
But, yeah, Pig is way too much a Pollyanna….
CalLadyQED about 6 years ago
I love this one.
Mr. Snuffles over 3 years ago
For once rat makes a valid, kind, point. Is something wrong?