Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 28, 2019

…beer, ice cream, and a car that won’t breakdown every month.

things i now need:factorsleepfood

Pig needs to stop using a fountain pen; he has so many ink splotches on himself that soon he will be pilloried in the press for appearing in blackface.

If you have riches, you can get bed, coffee and pizza.

You can see how much more philosophical Stephan has become over the course of time. If I remember correctly, these musings were the exception, rather than the rule. A while back, we were seeing much more of Larry’s silly (but funny) techniques to entrap “Zeeba neighba” and the like. Now that’s pretty rare. That’s what happens when you get older – you start to question what you valued earlier and that’s what occupies your mind.

I’d trade pizza for tacos. I’d remind you, I live in Mexico City and we have the best tacos….

Beer, Bourbon, Fried chicken, Pizza, Hamburgers, Turkey with all the fixings, Lots of Food ! …. Croc Power !

At my age, I only want good  pizza (if at all), and that’s actually more expensive (or a heck of a lot more work if I make it) than a tasty meal that doesn’t have all the food groups mixed together. But we do make a pizza every so often:

Home-made dough from our 150 year old starter

Plenty of local veggies: Onions, fennel, ’shrooms, maybe spinach or zucchini

Optional meat: Chicken, pork or sausage chunks (probably left overs)

Home made pesto (yummm!) Nothing but EVOO, salt, garlic, pepper and fresh basil, blended until smooth and frozen in 1/2 pint jars.

Plenty of mozzarella and parmesan

Chili flakes on the side (I like ‘em, spouse doesn’t)

Nothing is impossible, Pig. All my life I’ve done nothing!

What about SEX and BEER, Pig?!!

Peace and quiet from my neighbor who plays loud music all afternoon when I want to sit outside and read, listening to the birds. Of course, if I were rich, I’d just MOVE.

Things I need are cartoons, money, and a woman.

Sex, drugs, rocknroll, food, sleep, and comedy.

Not necessarily in that order.

Goal accomplished. Now what?

BADA BING BADA BANG! Just give me that rock n roll music…..

This is why I covet retirement now, the important 3 are easier to obtain.

I’ll skip the coffee. Just give me bed and pizza

And a non-leaky pen.

I mean, they’ve been using the same broken one for YEARS now…

Beer. Have enough and everything else is unimportant save the occasional trip to the bathroom.

Beer. TV. Comic books.

So true

Sadly, most of us over the age of college can no longer eat pizza and coffe if we want to sleep in that bed. Acid reflux and insomnia are a b*tch.

When you fully mature, you will include the location of the nearest toilet.

Now it’s, bed, beer, and pizza!

Beautiful, the three pillars of existence.

All I need is a Model Railroad!

Beer, coffee, pizza.

Just add the TV and you’re all set.

Tolstoy wrote a very short story about what a man needs. Turns out it’s just six feet of soil.

I’ll take the bed and the pizza, but eliminate the coffee. I’ll take Mountain Dew instead and I don’t care how bad it is for your teeth, either!

Sooner or later, most of us come to that realization, Pig….

Bed, coffee, pizza.

Bed makes my back hurt. Coffee keeps me awake. Can’t digest pizza all that well any more. Guess I’ll have to lower my bar to medications, GoComix and Netflix. ;D

So when did Pig get spots on his head? He looks like a bowling ball now.

Bed. Healthcare. Friendship.

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.