Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 15, 2023

Soon, everyone will be a motivational speaker, and there will be no audience.

Makes about as much sense as “being famous for being famous.”

Ask Joe if he needs an intern Rat!

A more traditional version of what seems to be called “social media influencers” nowadays. I do not bleepin’ understand it.

This is similar to those work from home ads they used to put in magazines 50 years ago. Send us money and we’ll tell you how to make money.

Joe’s gimmick has worked out pretty well for Tony Robbins. On the other hand, thing did not go so well for the guy who made coin by telling people he got rich by placing “tiny ads” in local newspapers on his late night infomercials, Don Lapre. His “Making Money Secrets” program seemed to work for him (though not for the people who spent $39.99 plus shipping and handling for his scheme) but when he tried to peddle “The Greatest Vitamin in the World” he caught the attention of the authorities and committed suicide before facing trial for numerous charges of money laundering, wire fraud and mail fraud.

Joe makes a good point. But I can’t see Rat as a motivational speaker.

An honest motivational speaker? [Rocky the Flying Squirrel] That trick never works! :-p

I’m surprised Rat hadn’t already thought of that.

A politician, That’s what they do

With this strat anyone can find their calling

If he really wanted to pull in the bucks, he’d open a mega-church.

Being a consultant is easier – ask people what the problem is and how they’d solve it; put the problem in a PowerPoint presentation and the solution in a report, and cash the cheque.

‘I have mental problems’ is todays gold mine.

Sounds like he got Rat motivated. What a guy!

I know a guy who’s a speaker at business seminars. His name? Gene Swindell! I always thought that was so appropriate.

(So does he – he jokes about it at the beginning of his spiel.)

Once read an editorial column in a magazine. Gist was that you’re all boobs and if you’ll just send me $19.95 I’ll send you a copy of my book telling you just why you’re boobs. I cancelled my subscription.

Joe is good at his job. Rat has been motivated.

This must be the same formula cartoonists use to get rich.

“Buy my book. It will tell you how to get rich.”

Amazingly, this keeps working.

A thousand bucks? That’s a lot of doe!

Rat would be more of a Demotivational Speaker.

What will Rat motivate people to do? Or Joe, for that matter?

But Rat doesn’t understand…if he’s not good at motivational speaking he won’t make it in that world……

A thousand bucks just for some pep talk? Sheesh.

He also gets chicks for free.

I was waiting for a pun on the name “Joe.”

Motivated for what?

Sanders said “If you want to be rich, write a book”. As he was on a book tour promoting his book.

Joe’s way too short to be a motivational speaker…

Still cheaper than Tony Robbins

Yep. The best takeaway from listening to Motivational Speakers.

It beats living in a van down by the river.

Sadly,Pastis didn’t have to walk far to find a “Joe”

The epidemy of salesmanship.

Rat’s idea of a motivational tool is a baseball bat.

Makes sense. Seems very few of those motivational folks, speaker or author, have not actually done anything really motivational in their lives before going into the motivanal buisness.

P. T. Barnum was so, so right……..

Stephan does these kinds of strips where it seems like he’s kicking off a storyline but it doesn’t. Kinda wish he would expand on these jokes.

Nice work if you can get it.

Rat would more likely be the anti-motivational speaker and be ridden out of town on a rail!

Same modus operandi of any influencer, TED talker and life coach out there, I think.

Sounds like an influencer. Certainly not an ifluenced