Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for September 27, 2013

Ah, here we go. Complete with the “I’ve heard the accusations and assumed them to be true; I am coming to announce the verdict of your trial. Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?” approach and the finger in the face.

I find THAT **** a lot more annoying than air quotes.

Hmmmm. this is going to a darker place than I expected…

That’s right, you’ve been hearing “stories!”

I been here before. No mater what you do its ALWAYS the OTHER kid who is right and YOU who are wrong. Surviving school means being the 1st to come to the teacher’s attention. After whoever is 1st no one else matters.

You’re friends with a unicorn, Phoebe. All arguments from others are invalid.

That’s a huge lie! That girl threw the ball at Phoebe!

I wonder if unicorns can change people into frogs?

Right or wrong, it’s the job of authority figures to assume the worst.A good authority figure will start there, and then start stumbling toward the truth.

I’ve heard some disturbing stories about you as well. Is it true you down Zingers like Tic-Tacs you porky, four-eyed bint?

Marigold could designate that teacher as her designated emergency bonkee for magical message spheres that are addressed to her—problem solved! :-)

Deny everything, it’s the other kid’s word against yours

She did not take the ball, it was laying on the ground.

Is it stealing if the object in question was seemingly abandoned?

I’m guessing this is the school principal? Phoebe could argue that she was set up, but I doubt she’d believe her… :/