Pickles by Brian Crane for April 15, 2020

Opal has seen your marksmanship in the bathroom,Earl So no she doesn’t trust you.

wouldn’t a Q-tip of swabbed saliva be better and more humane?

“As if I couldn’t spit that far! Ha!”

They can have my DNA when they pry it from my cold dead fingers. Not that there hasn’t been plenty of my blood in various labs already, if they really wanted to do that.

I’m just worried they’re going to find out they’re first cousins or something.

Or 12th cousins twice removed.

It’s a scam. I gave each of my kids the DNA test kit for Christmas. None of their DNA results was even close to mine!

Opal’s not playing that game, Earl! In fact, I don’t think anyone would play that with you!

Opal did your parents not tell you of your family tree ? Most parents and grandparents did that when I was a kid.

Get Nelson to hold it!

I never trust Earl.

Can go to a private lad for true results…$$$$$

I guess Opal didn’t think that using Facebook was giving her quire enough personal information harvesting and identity theft in her life … nice to see her upping her game there. Tune in next week when she starts using Zoom …

What’s wrong? That’s how I fill the bottle for the urine test.

Earl probably don’t chew tobacco.. but those old timers that did.. could fill that tube at 12 paces and not waste a drop.

Braggadocios, don’t you just love them? Hold the container with his pillow.

Don’t forget to puncture the capsule that contains the preservative.

Nope Earl this is one time I am with Opal you take the container into the bathroom and over the sink spit into it! Plus as Zykloc said I am thinking “scam” too.

He thinks he can spit a lot, but will be surprised how long it takes to fill up the vial.

one issue is that the companies turn the dna date over to the government. you can thank obama for that.