Reality Check by Dave Whamond for September 08, 2021

She made a weft turn.

She knitted when she should have purled.

At warp speed.

Soon within my tapestry

Along the rutted road

He sat down on a river rock

And turned into a toad

.

Carole King

I sense we will be seeing a ticket loom on the horizon.

So young man, I suppose you think you are going to macrame a ticket.

That’s almost like Jogging, another moving offence.

“Can you do a rug for us? We could really use something nice in the break room at the precinct? I kind of like that pattern you have there.”

A cop pulled me over and said I was weaving. I said, “No, it is Macramé.”

“Just gimme the ticket so I can shuttle off down the road.”

She rides a loom instead of a broom.

She’s obsessed ….

“Distracted driving” is a ticketable offense in many states. Does not matter the distraction.

The congress in my state actually voted down a law that would have included adjusting the radio or even the AC/heater while the vehicle is on by the person in the driver’s seat. It got voted down as unenforceable.

Still, not nearly as dangerous as reading a book while driving.

Sew what …?

Sorry … for the low hanging fruit (loom) …!

Just weave it alone!

Wait, somethings been weft out here.

there are no stitches in knitting (as far as I know)

And here I would have thought she was a crochety old lady, and he’d never let her off the hook.

Watch out, there’s something looming in the distance.

Snitches get stitches! Classic!

I thought he meant her hair at first.

… and end up in ditches.

Stupid joke, but funny!

There are consequences looming.

The cop got that right ;-)