Reality Check by Dave Whamond for September 27, 2021

I’ll have some 2×4s then. I always wanted to be a stud.

And a side of Prozac, please.

Does that still come with the sauce of all my emotional trauma?

I’d like something with a really rich sauce, please!

What you needs is a cat to bats that ball away.

…with a side of inadequacy in ennui sauce.

Does that mean I’m special?

Nobody’s going to say, ’I’ll have what he’s having.’

Does it come with sides?

Reminds me of a girl I knew. She was fast, easy and cheap.

Do you have any devil-may-care insouciance?

Well, if drink is included then consider the report that since the spring of 2020 the self-reporting of the population. One out of five are responding that they are indulging in heavier alcoholic beverage use.

Maybe it is helping to wash down that sphere of anxiety. Proud to report that I am in the top of the class.

HEY! What are you looking at it?

I went to the Alfred E Newman School of Stress Relief.

I find it hard to swallow.

Does it come with a bottle of whine …?

No thanks, he gets that at his mother’s house…

Mamma mia! Dat’s-a some speecy spicy anxiety ball!

A.K.A. our cat’s hairball surprise.

Sorry, I’m allergic to anxiety. Got any “Calm Chowder” ?

What else is there? I had that for breakfast and lunch.

And it comes with a free espresso.

Remind me not to stop in at that restaurant when I’m really depressed and feeling like s**t.