Hey, Ripley’s readers – Don’t you just love animals trying to sell us stuff on TV? Well, I’ve come up with the solution. Here it is…believe it or not!:
First, the insurance lizard eats the breakfast cereal bee.Next, the insurance duck eats the lizard.Then the car fax fox eats the duck.The insurance emu pecks the fox to death…Which is then stomped to death by the chicken sandwich cow…Which gets impregnated by the investment bull.Meanwhile, the beer horse and the Dalmatian are laughing themselves silly.
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’d lose my license! They’d throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things would happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now. That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
eromlig over 2 years ago
Hey, Ripley’s readers – Don’t you just love animals trying to sell us stuff on TV? Well, I’ve come up with the solution. Here it is…believe it or not!:
First, the insurance lizard eats the breakfast cereal bee.Next, the insurance duck eats the lizard.Then the car fax fox eats the duck.The insurance emu pecks the fox to death…Which is then stomped to death by the chicken sandwich cow…Which gets impregnated by the investment bull.Meanwhile, the beer horse and the Dalmatian are laughing themselves silly.
Copy-&-Paste over 2 years ago
That’s a Whale of a story!!
pearlsbs over 2 years ago
Just add one to the numbers listed in today’s comic.
eromlig over 2 years ago
Hannibal Hellmurto is a lost cause, but what about Fink Ployd?
monkeysky over 2 years ago
Hannibal is the same guy who nearly killed himself on stage doing a sword swallowing stunt…
jasonsnakelover over 2 years ago
Hennibal Hallmurto One time I was 2.5 inches long. One time I had 461 pounds. Did he cut his ear for the same reason Van Gogh did?
One time I was 15 weeks old. One time I was 737 weeks old.
One time my heart beat 3 times a minute.
May the Lord be with you.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
Since Germany utilizes a different currency, Herr Hellmurto’s ear lobes would be €549.85 (I wonder who was the lucky sap to get them).
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’d lose my license! They’d throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things would happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now. That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
Until next time.
FGWaiss over 2 years ago
Re: The blue whale—how is that known?
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
Well there’s a temporary dark side of the moon.
Take care, may flat Earth enthusiast Harold “Plus All Ducks Are Operated By Remote Control From Moscow” Moronord be with you, and gesundheit.
dwdl21 over 2 years ago
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day… Still one of the most iconic opening lyrics in music.
artegal over 2 years ago
RBION calls him a “performer.” I call him a twisted freak.
Binky Premium Member over 2 years ago
Blue Whale – Wow!
moondog42 Premium Member over 2 years ago
There is no dark side of the moon. As a matter of fact, it’s all dark
paranormal over 2 years ago
How much is L460 in American dollars?
Buckeye67 over 2 years ago
Hannibal is really not that strange looking. https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/hannibal-hellmurto
6turtle9 over 2 years ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_albums
Stephen Gilberg over 2 years ago
So what’s the story with his mouth?
p.l.christianson over 2 years ago
You really need to get out more.