Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 26, 2022

Hey, Ripley’s readers – Don’t you just love animals trying to sell us stuff on TV? Well, I’ve come up with the solution. Here it is…believe it or not!:

First, the insurance lizard eats the breakfast cereal bee.Next, the insurance duck eats the lizard.Then the car fax fox eats the duck.The insurance emu pecks the fox to death…Which is then stomped to death by the chicken sandwich cow…Which gets impregnated by the investment bull.Meanwhile, the beer horse and the Dalmatian are laughing themselves silly.

That’s a Whale of a story!!

Just add one to the numbers listed in today’s comic.

Hannibal Hellmurto is a lost cause, but what about Fink Ployd?

Hannibal is the same guy who nearly killed himself on stage doing a sword swallowing stunt…

Hennibal Hallmurto One time I was 2.5 inches long. One time I had 461 pounds. Did he cut his ear for the same reason Van Gogh did?

One time I was 15 weeks old. One time I was 737 weeks old.

One time my heart beat 3 times a minute.

May the Lord be with you.

Since Germany utilizes a different currency, Herr Hellmurto’s ear lobes would be €549.85 (I wonder who was the lucky sap to get them).

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’d lose my license! They’d throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things would happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now. That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Until next time.

Re: The blue whale—how is that known?

Well there’s a temporary dark side of the moon.

Take care, may flat Earth enthusiast Harold “Plus All Ducks Are Operated By Remote Control From Moscow” Moronord be with you, and gesundheit.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day… Still one of the most iconic opening lyrics in music.

RBION calls him a “performer.” I call him a twisted freak.

Blue Whale – Wow!

There is no dark side of the moon. As a matter of fact, it’s all dark

How much is L460 in American dollars?

Hannibal is really not that strange looking. https://www.gettyimages.com/photos/hannibal-hellmurto

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_albums

So what’s the story with his mouth?

You really need to get out more.