A man meets up with a friend while walking their dogs in the park. They haven’t seen each other in a while so they decide to go to lunch at the new French restaurant in town.
Just before entering the restaurant, the 1st man puts on his very dark sunglasses and asks the maître d’ for a table.
“Ah, monsieur, we cannot possibly seat you with that dog!” says the maître d’. “He will have to wait outside.”
The 1st man quickly points to his glasses, gestures to his dog and replies, “Ah, this German Shepard is my seeing eye dog. I’m sure you understand.”
“But of course! Right this way!” apologized the maître d’ .
The second man gets the hint and puts his sunglasses on and when the maître d’ returns, he asks to be seated with his friend. The maître d’ again says, “Ah, monsieur, we cannot possibly seat you with that dog! He will have to wait outside.”
Confidently pointing to his dog and his glasses, the second man states, “But this dog is my seeing eye dog!”
The maître d’ with a suspicious look on his face peers down at the dog and asks, “A chihuahua for a seeing eye dog?”
Without missing a beat, the second man throws his hands up and cries, “They gave me a chihuahua?!!!!”
An aluminum can of 12 fluid ounces of carbonated water weighs a little over 13 ounces. A 12 fluid ounce can of Coca Cola weighs almost 14.4 ounces. Fluid ounces do not equal mass.
A farmer purchased a new ox to pull his plow. The animal hadn’t been well-tamed and the farmer struggled to keep the beast under control. One day, the ox freaked out and started tearing through the fields, dredging up all of the seeds and plants that they had already sewn into the soil. The farmer’s corn and soybean plants were well destroyed.
All that remained was a row of strawberry plants. The ox hadn’t gone near them, it had been almost fearful of these plants.
“I wonder why the ox didn’t destroy the strawberries?” The farmer asked his wife.
His wife replied, “Well, strawberries have the most antioxidants.”
Herman Mankiewicz was a famous movie screenwriter who collaborated with Orson Welles on CITIZEN KANE.
But in the early 1930’s.he was a beginning screenwriter at COlumbia Pictures.Columbia was run by a man named Harry Cohn.
Cohn was a worse tyrant than Louis B>Mayer,which should tell you plenty.
Cohn like to call mass meetings—-he announced at one that “last night I saw the lousiest picture I’ve seen in years”—and named it.
One reasonably courageous fellow said he had seen the same picture in a theatre instead of a lonely private screening room,and the audience loved it.“Maybe you should have seen it with an audience”.
“That makes no difference.I can tell if it’s a good picture when I’m alone in a screening room.If it’s a bad picture,my fannysquirms.If it’s a good picture,it doesn’t”.
Mankiewicz then piped up—"Gee,Mr.Cohn,this is fascinating.Until today I never knew that the whole world was directly wired to your(Censored)!!
Mankiewicz was fired.He swore to his dying day it had been worth it.
fet·tle/ˈfedl/Learn to pronouncenouncondition.“the aircraft remains in fine fettle”Similar:shapetrimfitnessphysical fitnesshealthstate of healthconditionformrepairstate of repairstateorderworking orderwaykilternickverbtrim or clean the rough edges of (a metal casting or a piece of pottery) before firing.
Just read a new theory on the use of T Rex’s arms that said they weren’t used for anything but existed for protection. Apparently the animals participated in group feedings and the arms may have protected them from accidental bites from their “friends”.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
The importance of quick thinking.
A man meets up with a friend while walking their dogs in the park. They haven’t seen each other in a while so they decide to go to lunch at the new French restaurant in town.
Just before entering the restaurant, the 1st man puts on his very dark sunglasses and asks the maître d’ for a table.
“Ah, monsieur, we cannot possibly seat you with that dog!” says the maître d’. “He will have to wait outside.”
The 1st man quickly points to his glasses, gestures to his dog and replies, “Ah, this German Shepard is my seeing eye dog. I’m sure you understand.”
“But of course! Right this way!” apologized the maître d’ .
The second man gets the hint and puts his sunglasses on and when the maître d’ returns, he asks to be seated with his friend. The maître d’ again says, “Ah, monsieur, we cannot possibly seat you with that dog! He will have to wait outside.”
Confidently pointing to his dog and his glasses, the second man states, “But this dog is my seeing eye dog!”
The maître d’ with a suspicious look on his face peers down at the dog and asks, “A chihuahua for a seeing eye dog?”
Without missing a beat, the second man throws his hands up and cries, “They gave me a chihuahua?!!!!”
Until next time.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
imagine making a shortcake made from Chahi Ariel’s 288.882-gram strawberry
monkeysky over 2 years ago
Armless, but NOT harmless.
Also, formic acid is actually named after ants, since that’s where it was first discovered
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
And Chahi then made a very large shortcake for his family’s pleasure.
Take care, may famed chef Emeril “Bam! Now I’ve Gone And Done It That Was Supposed To Be Cayenne Not Cocaine" Lagasord be with you, and gesundheit.
oakie817 over 2 years ago
i can repel 2 bears with my spray
SquidGamerGal over 2 years ago
Super short front limbs? How do they do they assembled the skeleton correctly? For all we know, some crucial bones could be missing!
John Wiley Premium Member over 2 years ago
An aluminum can of 12 fluid ounces of carbonated water weighs a little over 13 ounces. A 12 fluid ounce can of Coca Cola weighs almost 14.4 ounces. Fluid ounces do not equal mass.
dv1093 over 2 years ago
The strawberry reminds me of the Bugs Bunny cartoon when he is in the Giant’s garden with the jumbo carrots.
markhughw over 2 years ago
So Formic Acid spray would make a good bear repellent?
FassEddie over 2 years ago
A farmer purchased a new ox to pull his plow. The animal hadn’t been well-tamed and the farmer struggled to keep the beast under control. One day, the ox freaked out and started tearing through the fields, dredging up all of the seeds and plants that they had already sewn into the soil. The farmer’s corn and soybean plants were well destroyed.
All that remained was a row of strawberry plants. The ox hadn’t gone near them, it had been almost fearful of these plants.
“I wonder why the ox didn’t destroy the strawberries?” The farmer asked his wife.
His wife replied, “Well, strawberries have the most antioxidants.”
198.23.5.11 over 2 years ago
TRUE STORY
Herman Mankiewicz was a famous movie screenwriter who collaborated with Orson Welles on CITIZEN KANE.
But in the early 1930’s.he was a beginning screenwriter at COlumbia Pictures.Columbia was run by a man named Harry Cohn.
Cohn was a worse tyrant than Louis B>Mayer,which should tell you plenty.
Cohn like to call mass meetings—-he announced at one that “last night I saw the lousiest picture I’ve seen in years”—and named it.
One reasonably courageous fellow said he had seen the same picture in a theatre instead of a lonely private screening room,and the audience loved it.“Maybe you should have seen it with an audience”.
“That makes no difference.I can tell if it’s a good picture when I’m alone in a screening room.If it’s a bad picture,my fannysquirms.If it’s a good picture,it doesn’t”.
Mankiewicz then piped up—"Gee,Mr.Cohn,this is fascinating.Until today I never knew that the whole world was directly wired to your(Censored)!!
Mankiewicz was fired.He swore to his dying day it had been worth it.
k0rcj over 2 years ago
fet·tle/ˈfedl/Learn to pronouncenouncondition.“the aircraft remains in fine fettle”Similar:shapetrimfitnessphysical fitnesshealthstate of healthconditionformrepairstate of repairstateorderworking orderwaykilternickverbtrim or clean the rough edges of (a metal casting or a piece of pottery) before firing.
mindjob over 2 years ago
Just read a new theory on the use of T Rex’s arms that said they weren’t used for anything but existed for protection. Apparently the animals participated in group feedings and the arms may have protected them from accidental bites from their “friends”.
Jogger2 over 2 years ago
The Latin word for ant is formīca. That’s how formic acid got its name. Since its molecule has one carbon atom, it is also known as methanoic acid.
Karptaz over 2 years ago
Strawberry would be physical weight and the soda would be liquid volume – how is that the same?
Pickled Pete over 2 years ago
ReTest
boniface22 over 2 years ago
Depending of course on the size of the soda can.