at Benny’s Oyster Bar in Lakeland FL (now closed) i ate 13 dozen oysters one night back in 70’s…they were like $2 a dozen…and Benny’s always gave you 14 or 15 in your ‘dozen’
This is really off topic, but I think it will get some laughs.
A Gynecologist had become fed up with his job and decided to change professions. One day after seeing an advertisment for an auto mechanic school on TV, he decided to sign up. The Dr. studied very hard and gave it the same level of excellence as he did when practicing medicine.
The day of the final exam came. The Dr. had to completely disassemble and then rebuild an engine, which he did in record time. When the grades were posted, he was surprised to see that he had achieved a score of 125%. Curious, he spoke to his teacher.
‟I do not want to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything but how can I have gotten a score above 100%?” he asked.
‟Well” said the instructor, ’You took the engine apart perfectly, that accounts for 50% of the grade, you put it back together flawlessly, that accounts for 50% or the grade. The extra 25% is because never in my career have I seen that all done through a three inch exhaust pipe!‟
Every narrative joke has a “voice”. Most of them coming from the O.F.W.T.J. are told by a male voice. This next one is told by a young, female voice.
“I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare.
“As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied
“No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
Until next time. Oh, BTW, Mrs. Fogwhistle laughed out loud.
Copy-&-Paste over 2 years ago
Simpsons in Ripley’s? Cow-a-Bunga…I don’t believe it!
Copy-&-Paste over 2 years ago
I guess you’d call that Poland cow “MAD COW”
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
In The Simpsons, neither Julius Hibbert, Carl Carlson, nor Apu Nahasapeemapetilon are yellow.
kingdiamond69 over 2 years ago
The oil industry is devastating to our worlds ecosystem we should have moved to green energy decades ago .
bluegirl285 over 2 years ago
Given that the Simpsons has been on for over 30 seasons, I guess coloring them in that yellow shade worked.
Zebrastripes over 2 years ago
The cow from Poland sure made the right Moooves!
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
I wonder if the Smurfs were blue for that same reason.
Take care, may future hamburger Moo “Hey Not Just Burgers There’s Prime Rib Here too” Mooord be with you, and gesundheit.
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
I hope they let the cow live after that display of desperation to cling to life!
oakie817 over 2 years ago
at Benny’s Oyster Bar in Lakeland FL (now closed) i ate 13 dozen oysters one night back in 70’s…they were like $2 a dozen…and Benny’s always gave you 14 or 15 in your ‘dozen’
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
This is really off topic, but I think it will get some laughs.
A Gynecologist had become fed up with his job and decided to change professions. One day after seeing an advertisment for an auto mechanic school on TV, he decided to sign up. The Dr. studied very hard and gave it the same level of excellence as he did when practicing medicine.
The day of the final exam came. The Dr. had to completely disassemble and then rebuild an engine, which he did in record time. When the grades were posted, he was surprised to see that he had achieved a score of 125%. Curious, he spoke to his teacher.
‟I do not want to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything but how can I have gotten a score above 100%?” he asked.
‟Well” said the instructor, ’You took the engine apart perfectly, that accounts for 50% of the grade, you put it back together flawlessly, that accounts for 50% or the grade. The extra 25% is because never in my career have I seen that all done through a three inch exhaust pipe!‟
Until next time.
artegal over 2 years ago
I thought they were yellow because of the nuclear plant (Homer: “It’s pronounced nuw-ku-ler”).
Bilan over 2 years ago
Remember that The Simpsons started off as a short skit on The Tracey Ullman Show
mindjob over 2 years ago
The Deepwater Horizon accident is why Forest Gump is unemployed now
rbullfogg over 2 years ago
Well, (pun) the company should have had better safe guards to shut off that well.
Jogger2 over 2 years ago
What happened to that cow after she made it to the island?
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Every narrative joke has a “voice”. Most of them coming from the O.F.W.T.J. are told by a male voice. This next one is told by a young, female voice.
“I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare.
“As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied
“No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
Until next time. Oh, BTW, Mrs. Fogwhistle laughed out loud.
meowlin over 2 years ago
Re: Simpsons characters being yellow – that worked out well for the LEGO minifigure licensing too.
Angry Indeed Premium Member over 2 years ago
I think that they jaundiced so that’s why they’re yellow. ;-p