Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 01, 2022

Hello, RBIONs! I’ve been on the road all across America, from Seattle to the Adirondacks to San Diego. It’s been a long, exhausting trip; now it’s done. For now…If you’re living in freedom, you most likely have the American armed forces to thank for it. (Yes, our Brit and Aussie friends also live in freedom, though a somewhat indebted form.) If you’re reading this in English, the same credit applies, though it may not be as great a thing, given all the difficulties the language brings. But we still can, and do, make fun of our military – especially its officers:A corporal and a full-bird colonel are both getting their hair cut at the base barber shop. “Would you like me to rub some of this cologne into your scalp?” the barber asks the colonel.The colonel takes a whiff and says, “Good Lord, no! My wife will think I’ve been inside a house of ill repute!”“I’ll take some, please,” the corporal speaks up. “My wife doesn’t know what the inside of a house of ill repute smells like.”

Remember, everyone, that the worst part of being an atheist is that you have no one to talk to when you’re getting a really good backrub.

Did you know that world-renowned writer Stephen King was once hit by a car? Just something to consider.

There was also a true story I saw on TV about a parrot that witnessed a murder. It even quoted the victim’s last words.

A French monkey was hanged in Hartlepool… as a spy…

I was watching Jimmy Kimmel and discussing where to go for lunch with my girlfriend when the topic of “unconditional love” was brought up. I nodded and told her “…of course I love you and you love me. But both of these types of love are conditional on many things”.

She immediately sat down and began to counter my point with sheer will and admiration.

“I love you no matter what babe”. I said “let’s go grab some lunch. Let’s take the dog too”. I whistled for Spike who was wrestling a new beef bone down with his 4.5lb chihuahua frame. He sprang to action and came, tail wagging full force.

We went out to the car and I opened the trunk. I placed Spike inside and he laid down. I asked my girlfriend to do the same. She hesitated then slowly got in. I smiled and down went the trunk lid.

After I drove around and decided where to go for lunch, I parked and went to the trunk. I opened the trunk and there was my girlfriend, furious, skirt rumpled and red in the face. Spike on the other hand was as playful as ever, tail still wagging as I removed him from the trunk.

Before she spoke I pointed to Spike and explained “See, that’s unconditional love”.

Until next time.

Scooby is 50 years old and kids still love him……

Doesn’t everybody sleep with their legs under the covers?

Not to be a stickler but the dog didn’t give testimony. His behavior under specific circumstances was presented as evidence. And it wasn’t the first time. It’s debatable if the behavior of a dog can be considered objective evidence, it was a criminal court, but it didn’t actually recognize the murderer and describe the event.

I’m not sure if it was used on any cartoon, but Scoobert was used in the live-action movie.

How much doo could a Scooby-Doo scoop if a Scooby-Doo could scoop doo?

Take care, may iambic pentameter enthusiast Ralph Waldo “Cryptic Obfuscation Doth Poetry Make Or Ruin As It’s Up To You” Emersord be with you, and gesundheit.

Maybe Scoobert is related to Dogbert

Was the dog a nose witness?

Well, duh! Everyone knows monsters can’t get you if you’re under the covers!

Scoobert easily becomes Scoobie, but what’s his last name Dodo, Doodoo, Doofus, Doobert, Dooberman?

Dog must have been a pointer.

the dog one reminds me of an episode of Star Trek: Voyager, where a guy committed a murder but claimed he didn’t know the victim, but the victim’s dog, who would bark at any strangers, reacted as if he was an old friend, proving he WAS familiar with the household he claimed to never visit.

Wha? Was he wrong? ;o}

That dog story reminds me of the “Perry Mason” episode (“The Case of the Golden Oranges”, Season 6, Episode 20) where the attorney speaks up for the dog. It’s on the “uncle earl’s classic tv” website!

Hey, gang – we have jury duty.

I got nailed at Go Comics for using common profanity. I now use asterisks.

I need to watch all the Scooby episodes (on DVD) again. I don’t recall seeing or hearing anyone calling him Scoobert. Anyone recall an episode?

At least one dog appeared as witness in court in USA also. It was in a Perry Mason episode.

There was a man with a bionic eye and a woman with a bionic ear. Whyizzit they didn’t come up with a dog with a bionic nose?

Hey,maybe it was a police dog.The killer had a peculiar smell t hat only the dog could identify…

Sleeps with his legs under the cover? How else would you sleep?