I’m here for the funnies. Look forward every day to reading a new one written or rewritten by each of you. What makes me sad is the fact that some feel the intense need to be the “honor and repeat” police. If you’ve read it or posted it before, who cares. A lot of us have not seen it. Put your pride in your pocket. If you begin reading something, and you feel it’s offensive ( as I have on occasion) just skip by it. The teacher isn’t going to test you at the end of RBION. There are enough horrible, terrible things going on in this world the we should all be able to find a place to get a chuckle once in awhile. And, if you do change and post an email .. Loop me in.
And dad spelled backward is dad! And mom spelled backward is mom! And bob spelled backward is somebody’s freak uncle. ~ Irving Schwartz, aspiring linguist (how’m I doin’?).
Take care, may misunderstood dad Larry “I Yelled Lego And She Let Go Of The Spaghetti Bowl So We’re Negotiating Custody Of The Mess” Wereford be with you, and gesundheit.
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean, well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple’s care.The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, "We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills.Next though, the social workers express concerns about a child being raised in a circus environment.This time the wife explains, “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet.”The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”
(Just trying to fill in with what I can until the professionals return.)
Sam Frank and Frank Sam were best friends. They were born on the same day, lived next door to each other, married sisters and unfortunately, died on the same day. The only difference between them was, Frank Sam went to heaven and his buddy went the other way. Frank Sam really missed Sam Frank and better. St.Peter to let him go visit for just a while. FINALLY, St.Peter gave in, with the firm directive that Frank Sam better be back in heaven by midnight! So off he went! What a reunion they had Sam Frank had quite the place! Beautiful little devil state’s dancing and plenty of music and drink. Suddenly Frank Sam realized that it was a “little bit” past midnight and frantically ran back to heaven. “I’m so sorry St.Peter, I just lost track of time!” To which St Peter replied, “you’re not only late, but where’s your harp?” Stunned, Frank Sam said, “I left my harp in Sam Frank’s disco!”
Family member, meaning what? Direct family as in parents and siblings? Or extended family meaning in-laws, cousins, aunts, etc.? In the latter case, 27% doesn’t seem much.
I’m in that 27%. I won’t speak to my one aunt or her daughter until they BOTH apologize to my other aunt for how they’ve treated her AND forgive her for the things she said to them. She apologized to them so they need to forgive. They haven’t even apologized yet.
There is a adult party game called Mouse Trap where you lay out mouse traps on the floor and you walk shoeless across the room blindfolded, use legos and call it Lego Trap.
A man went into a Birmingham supermarket asking to buy half a cauliflower.The young greens produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers.The man persisted, and asked to see the manager; so the boy went to find him.
Walking into the stock room, unaware that the customer was following him, the boy said to his manager, “Some idiot out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.”
As he finished his sentence, he turned and was horrified to find the customer now standing right behind him so, quick as a flash, he added, “And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.” The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way…
Later, the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier.We like people here who think on their feet. Where are you from, son?”“Cardiff, sir,” the boy replied.Why did you leave Cardiff?" the manager asked.
The boy replied, “Sir, there’s absolutely nothing there but prostitutes and rugby players.”“Really?” said the manager, “My wife is from Cardiff.”
“You’re kidding!?” replied the boy. “What position did she play?”
I was thinking that those Legos would come in quite handy as a replacement for the light bulbs & glass ornaments that Kevin laid out by the open window in “Home Alone”. Then I thought “How did Kevin know that Marv would come into the house barefoot?” Eureka, it dawned on me that Kevin had read the script beforehand! ;-p
In case anyone’s wondering, no, I don’t have multiple personalities. I’m new to GO and I’ve been trying out different avatars. This one’s the keeper. Aaaay!!
Copy-&-Paste almost 2 years ago
Ouch indeed! I wouldn’t want to be the one to test this theory
David_the_CAD almost 2 years ago
that tenth most requested Christmas gift is quite telling on society, and quite sad.
Gweedo -it's legal here- Murray almost 2 years ago
dawnsterner59 speaks our mind 1 day ago
I’m here for the funnies. Look forward every day to reading a new one written or rewritten by each of you. What makes me sad is the fact that some feel the intense need to be the “honor and repeat” police. If you’ve read it or posted it before, who cares. A lot of us have not seen it. Put your pride in your pocket. If you begin reading something, and you feel it’s offensive ( as I have on occasion) just skip by it. The teacher isn’t going to test you at the end of RBION. There are enough horrible, terrible things going on in this world the we should all be able to find a place to get a chuckle once in awhile. And, if you do change and post an email .. Loop me in.
powaymojo almost 2 years ago
Seldom do good things come to children in broken homes.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 2 years ago
And dad spelled backward is dad! And mom spelled backward is mom! And bob spelled backward is somebody’s freak uncle. ~ Irving Schwartz, aspiring linguist (how’m I doin’?).
Take care, may misunderstood dad Larry “I Yelled Lego And She Let Go Of The Spaghetti Bowl So We’re Negotiating Custody Of The Mess” Wereford be with you, and gesundheit.
jrkert almost 2 years ago
Cool All 3 items picture Legos
DawnQuinn1 almost 2 years ago
The fact that you want your mother to remarry for YOUR personal reasons is rather selfish Jason
PaulAbbott2 almost 2 years ago
I’ve stepped on Lego’s before. It’s true. Those pointy corners…
Pickled Pete almost 2 years ago
So I said that she has a nicer mother-in-law than I do.
fgerbil46 almost 2 years ago
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.So the couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean, well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.The social workers are satisfied by this but then raise concerns about the kind of education a child would receive while in the couple’s care.The husband puts their mind at ease, saying, "We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills.Next though, the social workers express concerns about a child being raised in a circus environment.This time the wife explains, “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet.”The social workers are finally satisfied and ask the couple, “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”
(Just trying to fill in with what I can until the professionals return.)
Camiyami Premium Member almost 2 years ago
That statistic actually makes me very sad, knowing so many children wish for a dad. Look, I’m so bummed I’m waxing poetic!
chroniclecmx almost 2 years ago
Fatherlessness is one of the greatest tragedies of our generation and a chief cause of all the chaos we are seeing
dawnsterner59 almost 2 years ago
Sam Frank and Frank Sam were best friends. They were born on the same day, lived next door to each other, married sisters and unfortunately, died on the same day. The only difference between them was, Frank Sam went to heaven and his buddy went the other way. Frank Sam really missed Sam Frank and better. St.Peter to let him go visit for just a while. FINALLY, St.Peter gave in, with the firm directive that Frank Sam better be back in heaven by midnight! So off he went! What a reunion they had Sam Frank had quite the place! Beautiful little devil state’s dancing and plenty of music and drink. Suddenly Frank Sam realized that it was a “little bit” past midnight and frantically ran back to heaven. “I’m so sorry St.Peter, I just lost track of time!” To which St Peter replied, “you’re not only late, but where’s your harp?” Stunned, Frank Sam said, “I left my harp in Sam Frank’s disco!”
WCraft Premium Member almost 2 years ago
Saw a cartoon recently. Two Devils were in Hell watching a human walk on Lego pieces and quipped that they replaced hot coals years ago!
Jaime Jean M almost 2 years ago
Family member, meaning what? Direct family as in parents and siblings? Or extended family meaning in-laws, cousins, aunts, etc.? In the latter case, 27% doesn’t seem much.
bookworm0812 almost 2 years ago
I’m in that 27%. I won’t speak to my one aunt or her daughter until they BOTH apologize to my other aunt for how they’ve treated her AND forgive her for the things she said to them. She apologized to them so they need to forgive. They haven’t even apologized yet.
Stephen Gilberg almost 2 years ago
I wonder what the percentage was before 2016.
The Duke almost 2 years ago
There is a adult party game called Mouse Trap where you lay out mouse traps on the floor and you walk shoeless across the room blindfolded, use legos and call it Lego Trap.
Birdman47 almost 2 years ago
This smart young chap will go far :-
A man went into a Birmingham supermarket asking to buy half a cauliflower.The young greens produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers.The man persisted, and asked to see the manager; so the boy went to find him.
Walking into the stock room, unaware that the customer was following him, the boy said to his manager, “Some idiot out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.”
As he finished his sentence, he turned and was horrified to find the customer now standing right behind him so, quick as a flash, he added, “And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.” The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way…
Later, the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier.We like people here who think on their feet. Where are you from, son?”“Cardiff, sir,” the boy replied.Why did you leave Cardiff?" the manager asked.
The boy replied, “Sir, there’s absolutely nothing there but prostitutes and rugby players.”“Really?” said the manager, “My wife is from Cardiff.”
“You’re kidding!?” replied the boy. “What position did she play?”
Birdman out.
Angry Indeed Premium Member almost 2 years ago
I was thinking that those Legos would come in quite handy as a replacement for the light bulbs & glass ornaments that Kevin laid out by the open window in “Home Alone”. Then I thought “How did Kevin know that Marv would come into the house barefoot?” Eureka, it dawned on me that Kevin had read the script beforehand! ;-p
alscoonz2 almost 2 years ago
In case anyone’s wondering, no, I don’t have multiple personalities. I’m new to GO and I’ve been trying out different avatars. This one’s the keeper. Aaaay!!
Jabroniville Premium Member almost 2 years ago
haha man, this one was dark.