I know of companies whee a human is no longer an option. My brother’s place is one of them. Dad is 97 with a history of heart attacks. I’ve resolved that next time dad is transferred to the hospital and my brother doesn’t answer I’m going to ask the cops to go over. i’ve been told word will get back to head office
The amazing thing is, companies are glad that they have these automated answering bots, and are totally oblivious of how much people hate them with the heat of ten thousand white hot suns!
Reminds me of a story of someone who invented a car that got really miraculous gas mileage. And the auto/gas industry bought the rights to the car and buried it where no one would ever, ever find it.
I installed these for large company’s. The strangest one was an auto attendant off a phone system that had one phone and hundreds of co lines in it. I opened 400 mailboxes for salespeople all over the US. So try as you might you were never to reach a human.
When I pause in the middle of various frustrating situations, I recall that we’re all caught in a web of lies, e.g., “I’ll call you in the morning”, “I can drive!”, “The check’s in the mail,” etc. Now, we’ve automated lying. The most frequently told/heard automated lie is “Your call is important to us.”
Reminds me of trying to contact Experian just after an identity theft. They advertised on national TV and radio a telephone number where you could talk to an actual person. There was NO WAY or combination of selection of voice mail entries that ever connected to a person via the advertised number. I finally got through to the retail consumer fraud line by dialing their business number and asking someone to redirect me – this took about five tries before someone did it.
Years later a friend had a similar issue – could not get through to Experian retail consumer identity theft unit. I gave her the number to call. She said that when they answered the call, their first response was “How did you get this number?”
it is a basic rule of American business that that more contact you have with a customer, the less your are paid. Avoid customer contact and your pay increases.
Had a terrible time trying to sign up for social security. Finally got a phone number and was on hold for about 2 hours, hearing that the call was important to them. Finally got through to a person, got signed up and was asked if I wanted to get a payment for the last few months that I’d been eligible. I said yes and got about $5,000. Sometimes it pays to stay on hold.
OK everyone, here’s a tip. After the opening message, try hitting 0 a couple of times. On many systems this bypasses the menu system and take you directly to an operator. (But not always.)
Had a bad experience with Koodo recently. I cancelled my contract with them, but kept getting billed. Did you know, that no matter how hard you search their website, you will NOT find a phone number to contact them. Not a single one. Only one of those “Type in your query assistants”. And it kept saying basically “do not understand”. I finally had to join the customer forum and was told the correct way to phrase my question which resulted in someone phoning me. No more Koodo for me, nope, never. And then the representative told me that the person who “cancelled” my contact had no authority to do do!
I want a button on my phone that sends a lightning bolt down the phone “line” and totally fries the company’s phone system. After all, I won’t be able to talk to them anyway …
“Your call is so very important to us that we’ve rigged up this automated phone call answering system that will make you desperately want to strangle yourself with the phone cord but because there aren’t anymore phone cords you can’t even do that. So sit there and wait, Loser.”
I called one of these a few weeks ago. Got down about 4 levels, and one of the options sounded like exactly the reason for my call. When I selected it I was returned to the opening message again. A vicious loop!
My favorite is when visiting in Sweden and phoning the railway. After a list of options in Swedish, I hear, “For English, press 9” (or 7?; I forget which number). I do so, and then, while waiting for a person to answer, there comes a repeating string of announcements that 1) all agents are busy, 2) they’re sorry that I’m waiting, and 3) I’m number X in the queue… all in Swedish, with no English.
dadthedawg Premium Member over 3 years ago
Who would have thought of something that weird?…..
eastern.woods.metal over 3 years ago
I know of companies whee a human is no longer an option. My brother’s place is one of them. Dad is 97 with a history of heart attacks. I’ve resolved that next time dad is transferred to the hospital and my brother doesn’t answer I’m going to ask the cops to go over. i’ve been told word will get back to head office
Coopersdad over 3 years ago
They certainly don’t want you to get thru to a human; they might have to resolve a problem!
rshive over 3 years ago
The ultimate sin.
Walrus Gumbo Premium Member over 3 years ago
He got penalized for NOT holding!
dadthedawg Premium Member over 3 years ago
Get a hold of yourself…..
Sanspareil over 3 years ago
The amazing thing is, companies are glad that they have these automated answering bots, and are totally oblivious of how much people hate them with the heat of ten thousand white hot suns!
littlejohn Premium Member over 3 years ago
Reminds me of a story of someone who invented a car that got really miraculous gas mileage. And the auto/gas industry bought the rights to the car and buried it where no one would ever, ever find it.
ottowald over 3 years ago
I installed these for large company’s. The strangest one was an auto attendant off a phone system that had one phone and hundreds of co lines in it. I opened 400 mailboxes for salespeople all over the US. So try as you might you were never to reach a human.
GoComicsGo! over 3 years ago
You idiot!
cocavan11 over 3 years ago
When I pause in the middle of various frustrating situations, I recall that we’re all caught in a web of lies, e.g., “I’ll call you in the morning”, “I can drive!”, “The check’s in the mail,” etc. Now, we’ve automated lying. The most frequently told/heard automated lie is “Your call is important to us.”
drycurt over 3 years ago
Reminds me of trying to contact Experian just after an identity theft. They advertised on national TV and radio a telephone number where you could talk to an actual person. There was NO WAY or combination of selection of voice mail entries that ever connected to a person via the advertised number. I finally got through to the retail consumer fraud line by dialing their business number and asking someone to redirect me – this took about five tries before someone did it.
Years later a friend had a similar issue – could not get through to Experian retail consumer identity theft unit. I gave her the number to call. She said that when they answered the call, their first response was “How did you get this number?”
azhoosier41 over 3 years ago
My dermatologist’s message is so long that by the time they get to the options you’ve lost your concentration and miss them.
Voxx over 3 years ago
“… and listen carefully because some of our options have changed” for the last 10 yrs to every answering machine in the whole world … just like that .
kathleenhicks62 over 3 years ago
I’ll buy that machine! But I want one for myself that throws out bot call automatically before they even ring the line.
snailgate over 3 years ago
it is a basic rule of American business that that more contact you have with a customer, the less your are paid. Avoid customer contact and your pay increases.
raybarb44 over 3 years ago
Kill him and destroy the blueprints, quick……
oldlady07 Premium Member over 3 years ago
Had a terrible time trying to sign up for social security. Finally got a phone number and was on hold for about 2 hours, hearing that the call was important to them. Finally got through to a person, got signed up and was asked if I wanted to get a payment for the last few months that I’d been eligible. I said yes and got about $5,000. Sometimes it pays to stay on hold.
JD'Huntsville'AL over 3 years ago
OK everyone, here’s a tip. After the opening message, try hitting 0 a couple of times. On many systems this bypasses the menu system and take you directly to an operator. (But not always.)
Diat60 over 3 years ago
Had a bad experience with Koodo recently. I cancelled my contract with them, but kept getting billed. Did you know, that no matter how hard you search their website, you will NOT find a phone number to contact them. Not a single one. Only one of those “Type in your query assistants”. And it kept saying basically “do not understand”. I finally had to join the customer forum and was told the correct way to phrase my question which resulted in someone phoning me. No more Koodo for me, nope, never. And then the representative told me that the person who “cancelled” my contact had no authority to do do!
scaeva Premium Member over 3 years ago
I want a button on my phone that sends a lightning bolt down the phone “line” and totally fries the company’s phone system. After all, I won’t be able to talk to them anyway …
DCBakerEsq over 3 years ago
“Your call is so very important to us that we’ve rigged up this automated phone call answering system that will make you desperately want to strangle yourself with the phone cord but because there aren’t anymore phone cords you can’t even do that. So sit there and wait, Loser.”
JesseLouisMartinez over 3 years ago
Does that answer your question?
dsom8 over 3 years ago
I called one of these a few weeks ago. Got down about 4 levels, and one of the options sounded like exactly the reason for my call. When I selected it I was returned to the opening message again. A vicious loop!
gammaguy over 3 years ago
My favorite is when visiting in Sweden and phoning the railway. After a list of options in Swedish, I hear, “For English, press 9” (or 7?; I forget which number). I do so, and then, while waiting for a person to answer, there comes a repeating string of announcements that 1) all agents are busy, 2) they’re sorry that I’m waiting, and 3) I’m number X in the queue… all in Swedish, with no English.