That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 23, 2021

“I hope this scarf I’m tying around your arm brings you luck. It’s the same one Isadora wore.”

Madeline, tying a red ribbon to her boyfriends arm, to make it easier to identify his body in case he didn’t survive.

Caroline believed in being prepared: she put a scarf around each of Henri’ limbs, so that in case of an injury he just needed to give it a twist and voila! Instant tourniquet

“It will confuse your opponent as to which wound is actually bleeding.”

Make sure you come back! and don’t lose the key to my chastity belt!

As the knight rode away on his steed, / his fair lady love wished him “God speed.” / And her scarlet red token / was a message, unspoken, / “Be heroic… if you wish to breed.”

I think we’ve seen the painting before, but the caption is obviously new.

His wife’s scarf was, it seems, a distraction, / so Sir Knight wouldn’t sense her attraction / to the guard. She was clever, / shouting, “Now, pull the lever!” / Thus, her husband’s portcullis impaction.

Vowing to avenge his parents’ deaths and to battle villainy, he donned his cape and left stately Gawain manor with its carved statue of “Ace, the Bat-Hound.”

Guinevere’s attempt to warn Lancelot that Arthur suspected they were lovers was doomed to failure. She spoke no French and he spoke no Welsh.

… and only when interpreted by a Connecticut Yankee could the Twain meet.

Awww… There’s Fewmet, the little dragon!

“Sir Bedivere, I’m loath to tell you, but we all know you’re balding, so you don’t have to wear that heavy headgear. But take this scarf; perhaps you can make a fashionable kerchief out of it? Or a wimple, dear?”

“We’re only going to the market. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“To remind you I’l be waiting for your return.”

“I love you Princess Redbush.”

All was calm until the little dragon bit the horse on the ass.

Honey, how about a clean shirt?

“It won’t cost much & I expect it won’t take long….”

no, darling, i’ve never been a “booth ho” or a “booth slut”…

“Here Edgar, just let me wipe those pigeon droppings off your sleeve..”

By the bitch he was often betrayed./ In his absence, she always got laid./ She would never have strayed/ but he chose to crusade/ and that was the price that he paid.

He rode off in deep disgrace / with his visor disguising his face / for his ribbon was red./ That’s the one all men dread/ – for red signifies second place.

Do you like my lance? Yes, it’s real.

TV game show hosts that are hard to replace for 500, please……John, Mary, Bill, Wilma.

Mr Burton would be a good choice.

SHE: Are you sure this isn’t your first rodeo?

Excuse me……have you any Grey Poupon?

“I mean, remember your priorities.”

Don’t forget to pick up some milk on your way home!

“There’s no need for that”, he said, as she festooned his arm with red./“It’s not a crusade – it’s only a raid/ – so I probably won’t come back dead”.

“I’m off to belabor the Turk!” said he with a leer and a smirk/ “for the Pope has decreed / That those buggers must bleed/ so I know I’ll be doing God’s work!”

Don’t be silly, the Crips won’t mind you wearing their colors.

Steve Melcher for Jeopardy host!

“We don’t have an oak tree and all my yellow things are in the wash, so this will have to do.”

“Here’s my undies, remember no starch.”

They should have let Jeopardy fans pick the next Jeopardy host(s). …altho I have trouble imagining anyone taking Alex’s place.

Appropriate that there appears to be a gryphon in the foreground.

Levar Burton

God Speed: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Leighton-God_Speed!.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2776.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 42 works by this artist have been used here (46 times, including repeats of 2 others as Classics, and twice repeating this with different captions, this being one). 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/01/27?comments=visible 

has the prior (the other different caption repeat of this, my comment there includes the same artist info URLs also pointed to by here links in my blog entry comment).

BurTON! BurTON!

Just a reminder to bring back the key to the chastity belt.

Before we start Dear, replace your helmet with this red kerchief!

Madam – what are your doing? It’s only a flesh wound.

Now remember – when you merge onto I-4 to check ALL your rearview mirrors….

“Bring back a quart of dragon’s milk.”

“That’s easy for YOU to say.”

“Sir Lancelot of Camelot.”

“What is my name?”

“To seek the Holy Grail.”

“What is my quest?”

“Blue.”

“What is my favorite cheese? WHooaarrrgghhh…!”

“Oh, so close! The question we were looking for is ‘What is my favorite color?’ Sir Bedevere, you control the board.”

You lied to me Frog! You said after a kiss, that you would become a prince! Here you are a lowly knight! Be off with you!