That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 14, 2021

“This guy says he wants to be my back door man. I live in an apartment; I don’t have a back door.”

“It says your dress is being rezoned as a multi family complex.”

Can’t…. breath… Molly! Put your letter down and cut the stays before this corset forces my liver up and out my nose.

What do you think of this one, Mother? He owns a french vineyard that exports to the new world, as well as an estate in London, and he even wrote his marriage proposal in French.

What the two ladies didn’t realize was that a maid was hiding behind the screen, taking notes of all their slander and gossip for her upcoming tell-all book.

why should we split the bill in half? i only had a small salad and you had a full meal and a mimosa!

Back in those days, dresses came with an instruction manual.

“It’s from James – he’s received a promotion

to command ! But he has a notion

That the vessel’s unsafe..

It’s an old Bathyscaphe

Four thousand feet down in the ocean….

/// Listen, Maud, to an interesting letter

which was written by Rod, my chief debtor.

How he offers to pay,

(an unorthodox way),

is by being my baby’s begetter.

/// He’s aware that my husband’s infertile,

(and resembles a near-sighted turtle),

but we both want an heir,

and Rod’s willing to swear

that for cash he will conquer that hurdle.

/// Though a man of now much reduced means

he still claims to have excellent genes.

Guarantees satisfaction

for this fiscal transaction.

Rod has satisfied two different Queens.

/// So, I ask you, Maude, should I accept?

It may turn out that Rod is inept.

But I do want a child.

Tell me— you’ve been defiled,

is Rod someone with whom you have slept?

“Oh! Here’s one you’ll love.” There was a young contortionist from Beirut…. "I’m still working on the meter, but it is ever Soo… naughty.

no, no, this recipe clearly states that it just won’t taste the same without the mescaline…

Dear Abby and Ann Landers, the early years.

“I just farted and there is no escaping it.”

“So I wrote her, ‘Oh, Auntie, you must / Tell me how you’ve become upper-crust.’ Well, it seems that Aunt Maude’s / A professional bawd / But she hasn’t dipped into the trust!”

So, that’s the ransom letter for my sister. I don’t have any money for it of course. Shall we have another round of drinks?

“So this is what we’d be eating if these stupid dresses let us get close enough to the table to reach it.”

“Darling, it is rude to read at the table. And haven’t you anything more enticing to wear?”

“Mother, I’m trying not to stare at the marmalade in your cleavage.”

Marie, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?

They were sitting on the edge of their seats but not because of anticipation.

Dress designers in 1890 were responsible for the fact that padded chairs weren’t developed until 1920.

Kim Kardashian has nothing on these girls.

“I got my Bootie Enhancement from some woman at the airport Holiday Inn Ever since then, I keep smelling hot tar…”

You know what I hate…bustles.

Women in those days displayed their social status through how many tablecloths they wore to lunch.

The wait staff supports and fundraises for Rainbow Pride events.

“Jane, your rewrite of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ to include zombies seems a bit ahead of its time.”

An Interesting Letter: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Julius_LeBlanc_Stewart_-_An_Interesting_Letter.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this 1884, roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/12/masterpiece-2843.html 

So far, 5 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/12/08?comments=visible 

has the prior (the blog entry, pointed to by my comment there, has an already published comment that points to the artist info that I used to point to here).

This letter will self destruct in 5 seconds …

It’s a message from Julius. He says he’s running a little late at the studio. You and I are to retire to the boudoir. He will be home by the time we’re undressed.

that is indeed a mistake…it’s actually the name of the waiter!