The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for September 24, 2020

Brutus is as bad at math as Calvin. I wonder how he keeps his job.

You never did fractions in school way back when, did you?

Brutus ordered onions for his mother-in-law’s “half” because he knew they didn’t have eye of newt.

Wait that adds up to a pie and half, right? No wait…

MMM sounds like a pizza right up my alley.

And if you think the cuts will be between the individual ingredients, you’re dreaming.

There are 8 slices in your large pie? Please cut it into six. I can’t eat eight.

The economy under Reagan was fantastic. Of course we’d just come off an all time low with Carter.

With Thornys’ pizza, You can share half and still have a whole!

I miss the three halves of radio’s “Car Talk” program.

To half or half not.

ok then that will be 2 pizzas

A pizza is not a pizza if it lacks pineapple and anchovies.

Ronald Reagan great American and President!

That’s what being taught new math in the sixtys has done to us.

Needs a refresher course in both math and geometry. However, maybe he figured out a way to defy the laws of physics……

I think when the pizza arrives there will be halves and half-nots.

He’s to old to be a product of the Betsy DeVos education system

So, that’ll be two pizzas.

Did he say one halved, two halved or one quartered? Is he using that new math?

Looking at that man’s face, perhaps he has heard that issue before.

One time went out for pizza with three friends. Everybody wanted different combinations of toppings, and the waitress said, “No problem, we do quarters all the time.” So she went clockwise around the table taking our orders. When the pizza came out we had a problem – The toppings only aligned with one person at a time. The pizza had been arranged counter-clockwise, by the one left-hander in the kitchen.

Pesky Pete’s Pizza Guy: “No problem, Crazy Customer — we’ll deliver your two large pizzas in about 30 minutes.”

Pesky Pete’s Pizza Guy: “Listen, buddy, if this is one of those old-fashioned crank phone calls, remember that in this day and age we have caller ID. We will find you.”