The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for September 02, 2020

Chicken, does anyone else know you’re here? (Just in case you don’t show up back at the henhouse?)

that kind of offer is rare as hen’s teeth…

$3.99 a pound – that’s chicken feed

The opposite procedure isn’t available because, as we all know, chickens don’t have liposuction.

Doctor Sanders the colonel’s distant nephew!

This chicken better cross the road quickly!

“We got a whole bucket full of options…”

Breast reduction surgery. That chicken’s going to give a pound of flesh.

Hormones have been successful for this type of enhancing

But if it’s a Rooster, then we know what’s getting enhanced.

She’s PENNY-less. Hoping it would be in the FREE-RANGE !

Run! He’s going to slice, dice, and filet you!

This doctor is a hack!

And now you know where the plastic chicken served at banquets comes from!

So that’s why the chicken crossed the road. It wasn’t the sky that was falling.

Chicken, get outta there! Quick, cross the road! And you don’t have to tell anybody why!

I wonder if they’ll chicken out at the last minute

That’s nothing to squawk at.

Run Chicken Little, run!

Now Doc, don’t forget your hypocritical oath.

Why did the implants cross the road?

Now then, it appears the Doc is going to get the implants from the local grocery store. Chicken will then be double breasted.

I bought boneless skinless chicken breast at a Kroger store earlier this week and it was only $1.99 a pound for a pack of six (total cost was just under $10 for an “economy pack” of about 5 pounds).

What’ll a wattle cost me?

Would chicken breasts sell better if they were called “ chicken boobs”?

" Just a trim on top, and feather the sides."