The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 24, 2025

“Oh, don’t be so stuffy.”

Cue Nyquil Blues by Alvin Crow and the Pleasant Valley Boys

She should avoid having close Contac® with him.

Sounds no worse than some of the customer service people I get when I call

Achoo!

Don’t you mean Nyquil?

I don’t know. Gene sounds pretty flu-ent.

I never realized there was a term for unwanted phone calls. I believe I got a lot of them at work. They kept asking me to fix something!

Funny

Everyone’s doing cold calls these days, even ICE.

Talking and typing, now that’s rare multitasking for an alleged guy.

But he needs to make a fever pitch.

Reminds me of an old Archie comic where everyone misunderstood the presents they were getting due to one of them having a cold, e.g., “the right diamond daztzal” (the right time and that’s all)

Most of the time it is, Please listen carefully as our options menu has changed. Press Ocho for Spanish. Press… They never offer an option for human, and the menu doesn’t include what I am interested in finding out.

I got a call at 2 o’clock in the morning once. I said hello, and they said ACHOO! I said hello again, and they replied ACHOO! Could you believe it?! A cold caller at that time of day!!

It Snot??