Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for April 29, 2019

Leonard is just another crayfish to them. (The Moon XVIII)

Raccoons that wear clothes and smoke pipes are almost human, thinks Leonard.

They’re scattering garbage all over the internet.

Look out Leonard. They’re after your job and all they ask for pay is garbage. Your company will require you to train them to replace you.

Scattering trash is their night job. During the day, they make collections for the mob.

Is that a soap bubble pipe Rocky’s carrying there?

He’s worried about garbage – I’d be worried about them plopping my pants.

All this talk about garbage is just one more example of the prejudice business-racoons face in the workplace.

Unspoken presumptions that they’ll steal…. whether it’s your wallet, your lunch, or your job itself…. follow them to every interview.

It’s silly to think that every nicely dressed raccoon is there to spread garbage, or take your fountain pen, or bite your finger.

It is true that he might wash his sandwich 17 times in the breakroom sink….

and he might eat the goldfish if there’s an uncovered tank at the reception desk…

But those shouldn’t be major bars to employment.

No, there are much more important considerations when it comes to hiring one for that opening in accounting, or sales, than any outdated notions of racoon shortcomings.

The reason I,  personally, don’t hire them is that they have no office skills whatsoever, and can’t actually read or speak.

Equality for alllllllll……

Scouts.. for tonight’s work

He was just wondering if he could get the name of their tailor.

They are however taking over your company.

Racoonteurs…

Where do coons buy sport coats?

Does this mean Ballard Street is a prequel to Slylock Fox? Suddenly the animalpocalypse makes much more sense…

I don’t know. I think the raccoons look very “smart” in their work attire.

Good afternoon Balladeers and Miss Susan! :-)

Hmmm, how vicious do you suppose lawyer raccoons might be? Good thing Leonard isn’t in the middle of a divorce!

Dang raccoons, coming in from Coonada and taking all the jobs!

This is how Stephen Miller gets away with it as well..

I know those two! Always cutting through my hedges without a please or thank you.

Coons be sooo rude!

“Chitter chit chit brrrkachirp chirp!” (“How do you do, fellow bald monkey!”)

Bandits in business attire. Just where do they get money for those threads? I heard they arrived here from Cancoon.