Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for September 08, 2024

With mint jelly and roasted potatoes.

Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to a pylon, ten thousand volts shot up its bum, and turned it’s wool to nylon!

Well it was already “Mary HAD a little lamb” anyways. So it already implies she was already eats it anyways.

This kid is smiling at it?

Mary had a little lamb,

Her doctor was surprised. They shoulda seen it on the ultrasound.

Mary had a little lamb with spanakopita, horiatiki salata, Greek lemon potatoes and rose’ Retsina.

Toula Portokalos : Ian is a vegetarian. He doesn’t eat meat.

Aunt Voula : He don’t eat no meat?

Toula Portokalos : No, he doesn’t eat meat.

Aunt Voula : WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DON’T EAT NO MEAT?

[the room goes silent]

Aunt Voula : Oh that’s ok, That’s ok, I make lamb! – My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002

Opa!!

And it was delicious!

The kid looks hungry now.

And Mary took it on the lam(b).

Mary had a little lamb, rare meat all bloody red, and every time that Mary cut, blood squirted at her head.

Mary had a little lamb,

A little pork, a little ham,

A little egg, a little toast,

A pickle and a great big roast,

An ice cream soda topped with fizz,

And boy! How sick our Mary is!

Best. Nursery. Ryhme. Ever. Way to go, Stephen King!

Mary had a little lamb.

A lobster and some prunes.

A glass of wine.

A piece of pie.

A plate of macaroons.

She gobbled down a sponge cake.

And, what else? We don’t know.

But when they carried Mary out,

Her face was white as snow.

Mary had a little lamb,

The doctor was surprised.

Old MacDonald had a farm,

The doctor nearly died.

Mary had a little lamb with fleece as white as snow

And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go

It followed her to school one day, what a generous thing to do

For now the cafeteria serves Mary’s Little Lamb Stew.

Mary had a little lamb with fleece as white as snow

And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go

It went with her to the grocery store, but the prices didn’t please her

So Mary had a little lamb

And the rest is in the freezer.

Way to short of a story for Stephen king.