Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for August 30, 2011

Conquering is hard on the tootsies…

If you want to save money, just use the laser blaster to heat the foot spa.

What store is that - BAD, BLAST & BEYOND?!. . ..

Clerk: I’m sorry sir, but this coupon has expired.Dirk: Oh, hand me that Laser Blaster, maybe I have a coupon for it.

Sorry, Space Mart beat you to it.

Hey, that’s the same style LaserBlaster® that Brewster has….Product placement? You be the judge……

You’re not saving when you buy all that Chinese made junk at Spacemart.

Manchester United “completed” Arsenal over the weekend, 8-2. That’s a massacre of galactic proportions.

I’m surprised the clerk speaks Galactic Universal. At least he has his Green Skin.

He remembered to pick up some STARBURSTs, Mars Bars, and Milkey Ways, but then, more embarrassment – he can’t pay for it – he forgot his Blaster Card.

“Look, Ma!! It’s one of them Wal-Martians!”

“Naw it ain’t, Pluto. He ain’t wearin’ a mullet.“

”It shore looks like a mullet to me, Ma!."

Clerk: “Would you like to purchase an Extended Warranty on this blaster? We will replace it if it malfunctions within the first year.”

Dirk: “If it malfunctions, I won’t be around to use the warranty. Idiot!!”

the foot spa is in case of de feet.

If Brewster got one do you think he could go toe to toe with Dirk?

He was also going to get a disintegrating pistol, but they all disintegrated.

The preceding joke will be funny in the year 2350.

Ironically, there’s only one Walmart in the area open right now because of hurricane Irene. It’s going to be like 12/24 there everyday till the other ones open. I was there last night and I definitely saw this guy AND his minions. I’m not going back at least before power is back everywhere, and possibly not ever!

Hey, at least Wamart hires morons, er, minorities. I saw an Irishman and an Englishman in the gun department.

I hope that isn’t one of those nuclear foot spas…weren’t they recalled? Do we really want to think about Dirks feet? I’ll bet they’re some kinda nasty….

Sorry I missed this when so much was afoot.

I hope Space Mart doesn’t employ illegal aliens.