Close to Home by John McPherson for May 11, 2020

The size of your audience is not saying much for the cause. Well at least Bleeb is there to lend his support.

There are only 3 lawyer jokes. All the rest are true.

All the rotten lawyers are making the other two look bad.

The 2nd ones against the wall after all the lobbyist when the revolution comes!!!!

What do you call a lawyer stuck at the bottom of deep well? A good start!

Lawyers need loving to. Word to the wise, get a prenup.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One is a scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and the other’s a fish.

Bleeb not practicing social distancing!

“A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.” – fatherly advice of Vito Corleone

What does it sound like when you run over a person? Thump Thump Screech. What does it sound like when you run over a lawyer? Thump Thump Screech, Thump Thump Screech, Thump Thump Screech.

There is a reason that Congress is full of lawyers.

Is that a boy named Sue?

The ringtone I assigned to my lawyer’s number is the Theme From Jaws.

reminds me of that old joke. A trucker had a habit of running over lawyers at a certain courthouse on his route. One day he saw a priest with a broken down car and offered to take him to church. When driving down his route, he came by the courthouse and saw a lawyer crossing. Immediately he had the urge to run him down and started speeding up. But the trucker thought about the priest with him and swerved at the last minute. Yet he still heard the usual thud. Puzzled he turned the priest and said “Mr I must confess I usually knock the lawyers over with my truck, but out of respect for you I swerved yet he still got hit.” The priest replied “No worries my son. I figured you’d missed so I opened the door on him instead.” (PS: if you’re a good decent honest lawyer, this does not apply to you)

good luck with that

The meager audience and Bleeb are just there for the refreshments…….probably not worth it, though.

What do you call a dozen lawyers jumping from an airplane?

Skeet.

That’s a better turnout that I would have expected.

They’ll end up suing over the jokes and nicknames, those ambulance chasing nancy boys!

Lawyers don’t bother me too much, it’s the judges they turn into that can be a major problem.

Aww c’mon! Deep down lawyers are really good people! At about twenty feet deep! (Ba-dum-bum!)

Is the audience practicing social distancing or showing lack of interest ? Cartoonists have it difficult these days…

They’re already being sued by someone who said he had rights to the name first.

Lawyers are the butt of jokes, until you need one!

They’re ending the “Mean lawyer jokes” and “unkind nicknames”? Does that mean the “floggings” and “beatings” will begin shortly?

It’s 99% of lawyers that give the rest of them a bad name.